Setting Your Gay Daughter Straight
by Ann Thrope
So you never had the time to socialize your daughter with boys and your husband took her on a few too many hunting trips. You saw her mature into a young woman, throw out all her pink clothes behind your back, dump her middle school boyfriends week after week, and try out for the girl’s basketball team. It may tear you up to think about it, but it isn’t too late to bring her back, or at least, stop her from going butch.
There are a number of effective strategies for setting your gay daughter straight that have been developed over the years. We here at the Ladies’ Monthly bring you the three most effective that we have encountered.
1. Moral Pressure
Remind your daughter of the moral atrocity she is committing, as well as the ramifications of her decisions to her God. Explain how gay sex cannot produce children, and how gay marriage still remains illegal. If she is not far gone, simply mentioning her family commitments may be enough to snap her out of it.
2. Doll Her Up
In middle stages it can be more work to influence your daughter’s lifestyle choices. Shower her with gifts like makeup and new girls’ clothes to replace her baggy blue jeans and hockey jerseys. Redecorate her room and transform it into an inviting boudoir for any potential male suitors, but keep it girly to deter any homosexual use. Buy her movies like Snow White, The Princess Bride, and Cinderella, along with music by artists like Dolly Parton, Neil Young, and Britney Spears. Avoid new artists like Lady Gaga or you may have a prissy glamor lesbian on your hands before you can say “Alejandro.”
3. The Bait and Switch
Our last, but most effective strategy. The Bait and Switch should be your last resort. However, it is a very powerful tool, and you are not likely to be disappointed. Wait until an important event, like Homecoming or Prom. Knowing your daughter, she won’t have a date, so it’s your job to set her up with a nice boy. Since at this late stage she will surely refuse, you’ll need to outwit her. Set her up with an attractive young lady. She’ll see your actions as a motion of respect and acceptance of who she is, and she will most surely agree. What she won’t know is that her elegant suitor is actually a transvestite. He will use his skills to seduce her as a woman, maybe even making her fall in love. After the dresses come off, she’ll be given the surprise of a lifetime, a night she will not soon forget.
You are a horrible person.
I’m not the one name calling. Why do you think that? I’m only trying to help women who don’t want to have do deal with all the hassle and aggravation of having a homosexual daughter. Its not just that an opportunity for legitimate grandchildren is lost, imagine what your friends would think if your daughter started eating from the other side of the buffet? Is she even going to be able to get a job living like that? Not here she won’t.
What the fuck? Adoption? What the fuck is wrong with you you fucking idiot? Go suck on a fucking pistol and blow your fucking brains out. If you can’t manage that, just go to your nearest pharmacy, drink all of the available Vysine, and eat a few bottles of Tylenol.
Thank you and have a nice day.
Wow thanks for the handy guide to suicide with household ingredients. You must be very concerned about suicide if you’re posting effective methods like these. I would not normally authorize comments like these, but I can always appreciate staunch suicide advocacy.
You are a selfish, or at the very least ignorant person. What you try to do isn’t caring for girls, it’s frightening. I’ve had all of these tried on me before, thankfully not by my mother, but aunts and uncles and such, or as horrible pranks. They are some of the most traumatizing things you can do to someone, especially the “bait and switch.” That there is not a “surprise (sic)”, it is rape. Just because you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean you should do something as horrible as rape or even what would feel like castration to your daughter. If she’s straight, she’ll straight up and put those sexcapades behind her. If she’s not, there is not one shit you can do in the world to make her straight.
Also: I don’t know why you should consider a skank like Britney Spears a role model for ambitious young women, or what kind of atheist decides to “Remind [their] daughter of the MORAL atrocity she is committing, as well as the ramifications of her decisions to her GOD.”
Oh believe me, if you hire the right transvestites it is not rape. Its pretty hard to refuse a 15 year old Vietnamese ladyboy with supple, hormone-encouraged breasts, minimal male sex organs, and a jasmine-scented anus. Reguardless of your gender, they are pretty hard to pass up, so they fetch a high price… and they are shrewd barterers. I once traded an entire Tommy Bahama bedroom set for just 3 hours of service to two fine gentlemen/ladies. It was worth it, after that point my daughter totally stopped watching Sailor Moon with her bedroom door closed.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I kind of died reading this. The author of this article is obviously an 85 year old woman knitting shawls and feeding her cats, bitter about how awesome her daughter (who doesn’t talk to her anymore)turned out to be as a gay lady. Oh yeah I forgot to mention the IQ of 70.
THIS IS HILARIOUS THANK YOU
hahahahahaha
You are a disgusting person and I hope you get everything that’s coming to you. How could you write an article on how to manipulate your children and think you’re being morally righteous. You are sickening.
Haha. Already did: “How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Kids”
I don’t see what is so sickening about helping moms.
I forgot to add this to my previous post.
If you’re trying to promote wholesome family values with this article than you are doing a terrible job.
Don’t you dare tell me how to raise my kids.
There is nothing wrong with difference of opinion but trying to force one’s values on someone is not right.
I know I must be hard for a mother to watch her child move off of the course she’d like but just trying to sabotage someone’s life won’t help. Homosexuality is not going to go away, and if someone is truly gay, they won’t likely just, ‘forget it’. With all the other terrible, chaotic things going on in the world, isn’t who another person loves the least of our worries?
You’re assuming that there is such a thing as “truly gay.” Judging by your name you are female, and if you don’t have any deep personal issues I would imagine that you are straight as well, although your defense of the lifestyle shows that perhaps you hold a sympathy for homosexuality. Let me ask you this: Lets say you are watching a movie and you see a man who you’re attracted to, he has everything you look for when it comes to appearance alone. Now, lets say you later learn that what you were attracted to was actually a woman. So, are you attracted to people who have penises, or just people who appear to have them? Does your attraction have anything to do, really, with gender at all? Can it possibly if you aren’t sure of the gender of a person you find yourself attracted to? The last resort is meant to help your daughter realize that herself. Its about showing her the emptiness in her selfish, unproductive, and frankly, sexist opinions about which gender she prefers.
Truly, you have outwitted me. I stand in awe of your incredible debating skills.
I’m….i’m actually stunned at how ignorant, selfish and downright cold-hearted you are
Why?
wow ……… well your an interesting woman Ann Thorpe thinking a lesbian is a tom girl that dumps her middle school boyfriends week after week, and tries out for the girl’s basketball team really that’s your definition of a lesbian…. lol you have lots to learn your mentality is so young so naive so yet to fully understand….
I was producing a narrative. I wasn’t trying to say something like the entire WNBA is composed of bull-dykes, but how far off would that be, really? That’s the idea of a narrative, to weave together common knowledge into a coherent restatement of the nature of the subject as a whole and to entice the reader with juicy details. Are you trying to say that lesbians don’t like basketball? Or that basketball and other physical contact sports do not lead girls to become physically comfortable, even attracted, to one another? I thought this was just common knowledge, its why no self-respecting woman I know will ever encourage their daughters to play contact sports. Lesbians are a lower-class minority, with rare exceptions. I don’t want my daughters playing field hockey with oversexed carpet-munchers. Its not natural, and its not going to make me any grandchildren.
I hate basketball, but I still love my girl
.
Somehow- Im reminded of that old dating website commercial…
Guy looks through the website…sees only girls…looks…looks…
“Nope, still gay!”
With all due respect- this is what you are forgetting here.
The daughter might be experimenting, that’s true- or she might even want to go with BOTH sexes. But EITHER way…you need to understand and ACCEPT who- and what- they really are. Certainly, and above all else, an honest dialogue between the two of you is clearly needed nonetheless.
Otherwise you are forcing them to lie…
I didn’t think good parents needed to do that nowadays, but I digress
In my experience as a woman there are two kinds of lesbians, whores and tomboys. Some whores are just oversexed women who have had their snatches stuffed by so many men that they want to feel again and so they seek the company of a woman while others don’t even do it for a change of scenery, but rather, go eatin’ peaches in a move to feel different or to reject their parents.
Tomboys are just girls who think men’s clothing is “more comfortable” and prefer the social company of masculine men to the social company of feminine women. As a result, these women constantly hear their closest friends talking about how hot every woman is that passes by, and she begins to have sympathy for the male sex drive. Not soon afterward, perhaps after a drunken makeout/sex session with a female friend, she’ll be turned over to the dark side.
I don’t mean to offend, I thought this was all just common knowledge.
In my own personal experience, you are leaving out one strategy that worked for me better than anything else. It’s true, I was down the path of damnation until my mother set me straight. Most gays are a product of abuse or rape by a male figure! My mother risked everything she had and beat me in my dark youth. Now I’m terrified of stepping off that straight path, and I thank my mother every day for what she did.
Haha, this is hilarious! I like how you take a view so wrong and outrageous that nobody takes it seriously!
Yes I agree, homosexuality is totally wrong and outrageous, I’m glad no one takes it seriously.
You and your mother are horrible human beings and ones I will beat to a pulp should I ever find.
Is threatening to harm people your idea of decency?
So, correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems to me that by deterring homosexual tendencies, you are promoting pre-marital sex. Isn’t that an abomination too?
Your plan is flawed on so many levels, but I wish you luck in converting your children.
Why do you automatically assume I don’t believe in pre-marital sex? If my daughter would get knocked up it would save me a lot of time and money hiring transvestites. They aren’t cheap, especially when you need 3-4 Vietnamese lady-boys just to make her wet.
I’m sorry that you are getting so much attention and I really just want to navigate away from this silly place and simply disregard you… but maybe, just maybe this repetition that YOU ARE WRONG will at least help one of your readers.
I don’t think you are a horrible person. I just think that you aren’t very bright. Perhaps you were raised with certain prejudices and you never thought to question them. You probably even think you’re “helping” someone. I don’t know where to begin… you don’t seem to question the validity of your religion, the interpretation of your religion, or the impact that your hate has on perfectly happy (and often homosexual) young people.
I guess my comment isn’t really for you, but for anyone that hasn’t been beaten into submission or brainwashed into hatred yet… just ignore this silly old (?) lady. You have better things to do with your life. Go be gay (or straight or bi) and enjoy your existence. Oh and think critically and laugh at crazy people like Ms. Ann Thorpe. It’s all you can do.
If your child is homosexual it is because they were made that way. Their brains literally work like that of the opposite gender. As much as it “inconveniences” you, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot pray it out, or trick them into being straight. The only thing you can do is love and accept your child for who they are.
Maybe your daughter is experimenting, maybe she isn’t. Either way, if you try to force her to be someone she isn’t you will ultimately push her away from you.
I personally made my daughter in my womb, and I can tell you firsthand that I didn’t make her gay.
> I personally made my daughter in my womb, and I can tell you firsthand that I didn’t make her gay.
*You* made your daughter? Okay, first thing, you only gave half of her, the other half comes from her father. Second thing, you have no idea how she was created or you wouldn’t write such bullshit.
What do you believe, that you are some kind of goddess who can create humans just the way she wants?
Or, since you seem to be christian, isn’t it rather god who creates people? Who are you to mess with gods work?
I seem to be a Christian? Fuck you. I am an Atheist. You’re so non sequitur its not even funny.
No seriously, what made you think I was a Christian? You must be bringing some heavy baggage to this table.
i agree with Ann Thrope i’m a male and lesbian Pokemon are always the hardest to catch and have the biggest muscles
Wow – you are a horrible and terribly immoral person.
If you are speaking from personal experience then I sincerely hope that your daughter can move out of your home quickly before you cause her irreparable damage.
People like you make this world a dark place. Selfishness and malice disguised as love and care.
Your comment was so loving… so caring… wait no I made a mistake. Your comment was actually thoroughly insulting and judgmental. Thanks for turning a light off with me.
Obviously, Ms. Thorpe, you are unaware of how many of the women in your social circle are lesbians.
Believe me, I am aware. I see them giggling at me from afar, but I can smell it on their breath close up.
Why not just love your daughter for who she is? Isn’t that the point of everything?
No.
wow, i feel sorry for your daughter. and i am ashamed that a fellow atheist is such a pitiful person like you.
Take this from the point of view of a young woman who’s parents didn’t accept her for years- I spent nights, for long years, curled up in my bed crying because I wasn’t meeting up with my parents views of the person I should be-whom I should date, my grades, my weight, my health.
I was terrified my mother was going to hate me. That she was going to throw me out of her house. That my father would close and lock the doors behind me and pretend he didn’t know me. I almost killed myself. several times. All through high school because I knew I wasn’t what they wanted me to be-what they were pushing me to be.
It wasn’t until I almost died the spring before last that my mother finally asked me what was wrong-and you know what? I’ve never been more relieved in my entire life-she may suggest that I might be happier with a male-that life might be easier with a male, but no matter who I love, my mother has made it clear, she will love me always, for who I am, not who I love.
Please. I beg of you.
If you truly love your daughter
Accept her as she is. If she’s straight, she’ll straighten out in a few years. It sounds like she’s still young. Let her figure it out on her own. Please. Let her be herself. From the perspective of an emotionally scarred young woman-let her live, support her, no matter how convoluted her views seem at this moment.
And should she turn out to be gay
I beg of you
Please
support her.
A girl needs her mother.
I’d be lost without mine.
If your mom had made it to the Bait and Switch you might have came out straight and things could have been a lot easier for you. I’m sorry if our magazine was not available then, I am truly sorry.
I was just curious, when exactly did you choose to be straight?
When I was fourteen.
So…. uhm… if I’m pickin up what you’re throwin down, every lesbian is either some bisexual super skank gone awry, or a bull dyke? ‘Cause, no offence to you and your ‘common knowledge’, but I’m pretty gay and I’m neither. I’m what they like to call androgynous. Aww… big word, huh?
So you’re basically just a dyke, but not a full on bull dyke? Just trying to put you into terms that I understand.
Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O great ones?
Do ye judge uprightly, O mankind?
Yea, in heart ye work wickedness;
ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
The wicked are estranged from the womb:
they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
Their poison is like the poison of a serpent:
they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers,
charming never so wisely.
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth:
break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
Let them melt away as waters which run continually:
when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away:
like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
Before your pots can feel the thorns,
he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance:
he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous:
verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.
Psalm 58.
I, too, nearly strayed down the devil’s path of homosexuality. My mother, seeing the dark depths that my soul would eventually reach, arranged for me to be repeatedly raped by attractive young women (I am male). After suffering through forced intercourse with women, I am now on God’s intended path. I no longer am attracted to men, and all it took was a gross violation of state & national laws, a mother with serious control issues, and faith in God! I am truly a new man now.
Wow, aren’t you a piece of work.
“I don’t like this lifestyle, so I’ll do my damnedest to make sure my daughter can’t discover who she is as a person just because I don’t like it”
Nice thoughts there sport.
Thank you.
to my common knowledge, cold-hearted, selfish, deluted ass of a mother like you is what the modern society is having problem with. I cant even begin to imagine what it’s like to have a bitch of a mother who would scare and tramatize their own child in their times of crutial mental dependance and care.
First of all learn to spell. Second of all I am not any of the many things you say I am, nor do I do many of the things you say I do. Your idea of “tramatize (sic)” is my idea of imparting knowledge. I don’t want my kids to make a self-destructive decision. Who are you to tell me being gay isn’t a self-destructive decision? Look at society, you cad. Being gay deprives one of many basic rights. I want my kids to be able to live in society with all their white and upper-class privileges intact, thank you.
yes but being a bigot and dolling-up (or may I say turning people into skanks) isn’t much help either. I also wonder what your comment on me is I am a straight gay-rights, pro-choice, athiest 14 year old girl who loves fantasy books, techno art oh yeah and last year I was diagnosed with anxiety and I wasn’t born with it and I’m also on an inhibitor and don’t have a single bit of make up besides eye-liner for formals I have no dresses no skirts and no high-heels I don’t wear frilly stuff for it’s a waste money I earn working at the EB games store. Would you call me a whore because if I was a “whore” I would have had every boy in the school having been my boyfriend by now but I haven’t I have never had a boyfriend and I will never have a girlfriend in this part of life because it’s not something I should focus on instead I focus on school and I won the award for best at disection and basic physics in class. Best in art, english and HSIE an Math.
Ok you tense bitch. You may be 14 but that doesn’t give you the right to call me a bigot. Obviously you are too young to understand what is going on here but maybe when you get older you can look back on this and laugh at yourself.
Ann Thrope, you are truly fucked in my opinion. You’re way off the mark with that “common knowledge” bullshit.
Wow, cursing at me and telling me I am “off the mark” sure is “on the mark” you fucker.
I’m sorry, are you implying that ‘being suicidal’ and ‘being gay’ are similar? Are you implying that the state of mind ‘suicidal’ is the same as the genetic disposition of ‘gay’? This is where you and everyone else who argued against you are at an impasse. We know (as in it has been proven) that people are born gay and you believe it is a mental disorder. How can this wide river of difference be crossed?
Genetic disposition? I didn’t know the science was so conclusive (I’ll give you a hint, its not). Further, what makes you think that people couldn’t have a genetic predisposition toward suicide? People claim to have a genetic predisposition to depression all. the. time.
I agree with Chris. You really don’t have to agree with homosexuality as a parent, but at least try to be supportive instead of trying your best to ward off her orientation. Sure it can upset you, but you’re going to have to bite the bullet at some point and accept your daughter for the way she is, even if you disagree with her life’s decision.
You can lead a horse to water, but that’s not gonna make her drink it.
If your child told you he or she was suicidal, would you just let nature take its course?
I mean, if we’re just going to accept our kids for who they are…
I have several problems with your article, Miss Thrope.
Firstly, I come away from this article feeling as though you insinuate homosexuality as a lifestyle choice. This, I’m afraid, is an incorrect conception. Many teenagers have committed suicide due to their rigid upbringing, being taught, undoubtedly like yourself, that homosexuality is an abomination. Not having their parents to turn to, in fear of their disownment, they kill themselves for feeling in such a way.
Secondly, I feel as though you are a Christian woman, undoubtedly well-versed in the Bible. If you do not recall, the majority of homophobia is derived from the passage of the Bible, saying that if a man lies with another man as he does a woman, he should be killed as proper punishment. Now, lord forbid our 21st century society move past what should definetely be a theocratic rule, under God himself. Since the Bible also states that if we use different threads, eat shellfish, or work on Sunday, the same thing should happen. As of late, Miss Thrope, I do not see that occurring, since we are ruled under a republic and church has no right to be involved in our government.
This article is outdated, unnecessary, hateful, and wrong.
If you don’t like gay marriage, or homosexuality, Miss Thrope, you and only you personally, don’t kiss or marry another woman.
Another person coming here and assuming my religion based on things that I said which at no point referenced the Bible or Christian teaching. You are bringing far too much baggage to this table, please, take this opportunity to admit the mistake and lighten your burden.
I throughly enjoy the fact how you criticized Mass’s cursing, only to go ahead and return with some of your own. What you preach here is nothing more than disgusting and manipulative to your own liking. You would have a person become someone they are not because it pleases you, instead of being a loving and accepting parent. You referred to being lesbian as selfish yet are the one who is being selfish, putting your own desires about the desire of one being true to them self and to who they are.
“You would have a person become someone they are not because it pleases you, instead of being a loving and accepting parent. ”
Nonsense. Let me knock you off this moral high-horse. Parents change their kids. If they didn’t, you wouldn’t be potty trained. At some point your parents decided that although you would be perfectly content defecating on the floor, it was not in their best interest to accept you for who you were.
I am fourteen years old and female. I am bisexual, rather than lesbian, so it could be argued that your statements do not apply to me, but even so I would like to point out that I became this way without playing any sports in my youth (indeed I was rather a stay-at-home recluse, and still am) and without any sexual experience with either gender (to be fair, I have been kissed on the neck once or twice). I may not be a shining example of human normality, of course, but I should think that your point still stands.
Whether or not you are, as many kind-hearted if emotional people are quick to point out, a narrow-minded person of low intelligence who approves of what essentially amounts to psychological abuse of children, you are, without a doubt, rather flawed in your collection of data. Just saying here, you might want to talk to a few of the shy, virginal, lesbian nerds out there.
Quite frankly, my personal opinion here is that your ideas are somewhat outdated. And by the way, where would you even be able to hire a transsexual to seduce your daughter? Because to be honest that sounds rather like prostitution. I’m not certain about the legality of prostitution in your area, of course.
By the way, Ms. Thrope, I must admit that you have given me quite some for for thought. I dabble in psychology, and reading through these comments has been a very… intriguing insight into the human mind.
Do not take that as a compliment.
Spare me your psycho-babble bullshit. It is obvious that you aren’t really putting much thought or consideration into your evaluation of my article, lets just leave it at that.
Ann, I am appalled at your attitude to gays. I’m gay, and I LOVE it. So much so that I want my son to be gay too. He’s 15 but unfortunately is only interested in girls so far. I think at least he should experience both sides before making up his mind. I will try the bait and switch option. If that doesn’t work, maybe drugs will. If I get him high, it might lower his inhibitions a bit? What do you think? I could get him nice and high, then invite my tranny friends over to seduce him. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Frankie
Gay guys are so cute, and so I am sure it is no surprise to you that I have a lot of experience getting young boys to question their sexuality. Most mothers I know have tried buying alcohol for their boys all-night video game marathons, in the hopes that a little inebriation might lead to some experimentation. Honestly, one approach alone normally doesn’t work. If you have to, try getting them drunk and then walking in on them playing, naked. Then, force them to perform sex acts on each other before you let them play with you. If your son isn’t interested, either get more alcohol or team up with the other moms for maximum effect. It turns a rather boring night of video games into a fun-filled romp for all.
Ann: My wife and I have been trying to figure out how to prevent our daughter’s ungodly same-sex perversions, and were lucky enough to find your article just before CHRISTmas! Although it will be difficult to find here in Marfa, Texas we will be doing our best to track down and invite as many Vietnamese lady-boys over to CHRISTmas dinner to purge our daughter of her lustful behaviour.
Merry CHRISTmas and God bless, Ann Thrope!
Good luck finding a handsome transvestite in Texas (not some Southern Comfort bullshit). You might want to drive down to Tijuana if you’re really looking for a quality market with a lot of selection.
Hello Ms. Ann Thrope. My name is Hunter. I was browsing one of my favorite sites when someone brought this article to my attention. I read this article and some of your recent comments.
So, from what I see you think there are two options: whores or tomboys.
I, Hunter, am a bisexual. I have all straight female friends, and my best male friend is gay. Therefore, I have had no male influence over how women look. My favorite colors are pink and most of my room is pink. I have all sorts of plushies scattered everywhere. So, no, not a tomboy. I DO occasionally wear men’s shirts, but only because I’m a little thicker in the waist than most women, so they fit much better than most women’s shirts. Secondly, I am a virgin. I have not had sex with man nor woman. I also love my parents, so it can’t be that either, can it?
I recently began finding an intrest in women. It was an odd, sudden attraction I had to a girl I had known a little over a month. Until that time, I had an intrest in men. I was hesitant, but then I decided to accept who I was. I haven’t been happier, and since then women have just become more physically attractive in my eyes. I still love a hot man every now and then though.
Also, lastly, hire a transvestite? You’re encouraging some girl NOT to be gay by introducing them to a gay person? Totally makes sense.
So, Mrs. Thrope, what kind of lesbian am I?
Thank you,
Hunter.
Well a whore wouldn’t have taken all the time to write that, so you must be a tomboy.
Oh man I WISH my mom had set me up with a cute trans woman. Hot damn. Still a lesbian, though.
Another thing. You’re complaining about people assuming you’re Christian. If you don’t want that to happen, stick a disclaimer in your article. Tell them, somehow, that though you’re suggesting in the first step, Moral Pressure, that they should remind their daughters of their duties to their God(s), (Take note, you capitalized God. To a lot of people, that would connote a Christian God; saying “god” makes it very unspecific and doesn’t give the impression that you believe in God.) you don’t necessarily believe IN God.
Just a suggestion.
I’m sorry. I thought like most parents it is just sort of implied that we use religion to instill good moral behavior. We don’t actually believe in that fairy tale bullshit, but it gets her through high school without getting knocked up.
Hi Ann,
I’m writing this because I’m concerned about your mental health. It appears that you get some sort of satisfaction from upsetting others. You write outrageous, inflammatory things, and take pleasure when others respond with anger. You do this behind the anonymity of the internet, creating a false persona that you use to gleefully spout bile that YOU yourself would never say. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your words and behavior. You should reflect hard about what drives you attack others whenever you put on a mask. See a therapist. Don’t bother with a response to this, I’m not going to return to this comment and feed your hunger for attention and hate speech.
Hi Robert,
I’m writing this because I am concerned about your mental health. It appears you get some sort of satisfaction out of righteous indignation and false public pity. You write pathetic drivel in the hope of relieving the burden of your conscience, but in fact you are merely judging me to the point of delusion. You assume that you know what gives me pleasure, what gets me off. You assume this having never met me, and knowing nothing of who I am. See a therapist. Don’t bother with a response to this, as you have already satisfied my need for attention and hate speech.
Thank you Ann, this article is right!
Girls should be girls and boys should be boys.
Let’s not forget what happened to those who first committed sodomy!
Yes, these are all wonderful ideas.
But I think maybe you should change the title to “How to get your gay daughter to commit suicide.”
I don’t know if I’m gay or not at this moment, but at least I know that if I was, my mother would accept me and love me just as much as she does now instead of seeing it as something that is wrong. I know I’d want to die if my own mother hated me just for being myself.
Actually “How to Get Your Gay Daughter to Commit Suicide” is an upcoming article for parents who are just tired of her shit and don’t want to deal with it anymore.
Ann Thorpe, you’re a stupid bitch.
Thrope.
so you apparently “decided” to be straight at the age of fourteen…?
it is terribly unfortunate for your petty and hateful argument–which is not in any way based on fact–that one cannot choose a sexual orientation. i’m sensing some repressed homosexuality here…! is that why you choose to label lesbians in such a hateful way? it seems you’re putting them as the “other” in order to further create that divide between your great, noble, and pious self and innocent others with merely different interests. just saying.
furthermore, what you’re preaching is KILLING kids all over the world. you’re hardly a parent; you’re a murderer.
Umm excuse me, but suicide is a choice. You can’t call anyone a murderer when someone kills themselves. Further, if these kids would listen to me, and their parents knew the right tricks, maybe they could grow up straight and accepted. I don’t want my daughters being discriminated against, even by their own government, for easily modified sexual proclivities. Sometimes all it takes is a few Bon Jovi posters to ensure the future of your genetic grandchildren.
lol at the techniques, i bet your kids are just as f*cked up as you are.
and i bet you’re divorced
Never married, sexist. You assume just because I am a woman with kids I must have had a husband? And second of all, my kids are perfectly fine, which means they are also perfectly straight.
I have no idea how you could possibly be accusing people of being sexist, especially with this: “Its (sic) about showing her the emptiness in her selfish, unproductive, and frankly, sexist opinions about which gender she prefers.” Please explain that sexist part to me. I don’t know what you think sexism is but you seem to be setting the feminist movement back by 60+ years.
Secondly, I’m thinking, like others on here, that you must seriously be kidding. After all, you just wrote an article about flirting at family reunions. So incest is okay, prostitution and rape are okay, but loving someone for who they are is not?
Thirdly, I do agree with you on one thing. As a parent I certainly wouldn’t want my kid to be discriminated upon or live a hard life. Do you understand though that you’re part of this discrimination? If at least she had your support she would have more strength to deal with the every day oppression.
Lastly, and this is where my diplomacy fails, I wish I could hold a gay fuck-in at your house. I wish I could fuck a girl right in front of your face and gross you homophobes out ’til extinction. I wish I could tie you to a chair and see just how wet you get when you see two girls eating each other out.
I said the opinions about gender preference are sexist because they are judgments based on sex. The Bait and Switch is all about showing the perceptual nature of sexual preference, to enlighten your daughter about how her feelings are based on sometimes assumptive judgments rather than the truth (which includes the penis). Its almost exactly what you want to do to me, actually, when you tie me down and try to get me off on watching lesbian sex. I don’t see why you are so mad at me, we are the same.
You know,
I was raped, Beaten, tortured. And not because I was a lesbian.
For almost a year I was a small child Abused and molested almost everyday before going to school. Guess what, it was a male who did this damage to me.(not to even mention my uncle who molested me when I was five) In fear that this would happen again I started to wear Boys clothing, I would spar with others, fight and brawl with men to give off an illusion that I was never sexually interested. Wall barriers were put up in my head so I wouldn’t let guys in close to me, then a stupid Idea popped in my head on getting a boyfriend. that way he could protect me. soon I was fine around males and found one I really liked. We dated for two years til his “best friend” turned around and raped me in my own home. I started getting once again distant with others, I stayed home a lot and really didn’t want to go to school in fear of seeing friends of the rapist. people whom I thought were friends I could trust believed I was a whore and got what I deserved.
I started to abandon all hope for males, and finally hung around girls who pushed me on to guys who they thought I would be perfect with. once again I was raped by one of them. and they didn’t believe me. So my thought process started and I guess it was just poor choice of friends.
I drifted from all of them and only hung around one, whom yes was a male. But because I made that male basically my only close friend, he got away with a lot of shit done to me. He put thoughts in my head to make me feel worthless and stupid that I needed him more than anything in the world. Master, and slave as he put it. a little puppet for him. and I did as he told me to do because he claimed he would never love me. (which of course he didn’t but when your 14 your living in naivety)
Never once did I even try to talk with my mother about my problems until one day I broke out into a rage over a small matter and told her about my sexual abuse’s. Immediately She reported the rapists well two of them at least. I didn’t remember the one that molested me when I was 6. Nor did I mention the mental Abuse I was going through.
About a month after so, after receiving a male officer stating I was full of it and was about to go to jail for false report. I actually sat down with my mother and talked to her.
She’s usually laid back and is mostly a workaholic. But when we actually sat down and talked,
I told her I wanted to die. That I was having suicidal thoughts, No, I did not cut. (if your going to kill yourself do it right) But I told her most of the thoughts I had in my head from the past ten years of going through all those pains. I also told her that therapy wasn’t working, and most of the time it doesn’t for I think it was about 80% of trouble teens. How I got over it? I didn’t, I still think about it sometimes though. But anyway back to my mother,
we talked about guys, and people’s lives. thats when I looked at her and asked if she cared if I went Bi/lesbian. She was 100% behind me. well kinda. She mostly thought it was my decision and that I was old enough to make my own. (15/16). Because I had already tried the guy thing, To me it wasn’t working. So I got a girlfriend, who well listened to me. She cared and wanted to be with me, we kissed and hung out alot with actual friends, with her I felt safe. To bad it ended because of her mother.
But that didn’t stop me from being a lesbian. soon I found another and it turns out that I helped her through a lot of things I didn’t even know about because I stayed by her side. Then she had a fantastic Idea of getting a group of girls to date. some were just in it to mess around, some were in it just to get attention and try it out, others were actually doing it because they loved each other that much, and cared for one another.
It soon ended when I had to transfer to a new school, they continued their group but it eventually fell apart because of drama (which happens often in all relationships.)
But I found myself once again another girl to call my lover, when I told her about my past she actually had an idea where we would have a three way dating scene with us and a male. I gave it a shot.
turns out I was more into it than she was, she was happy though to show me what it was like to be with a man and be willing. she had to leave though… She moved to another school, we talk and such but since she actually moved out of town it wasn’t quite the same. But the male and myself continued, and I never got raped. I was happy, til well others got jealous, put thoughts in my head then I split with him cause I thought he was cheating (turns out he was…)(year and half of going out) but I continued, I wasn’t wanting to be with another girl after that… not really wanting a man either… til I actually found I guy who kinda looked like a girl but was male.
(two years together btw) I loved him so much that I had a kid with him at the age of 17, I stayed with him, and basically never left the house. I even went to a prego school just to stay away from others so he wouldn’t have doubts in head nor any in mine. Til i finally went back to a regular school again(and he shaved his head and became a jerk). My first girlfriend had transferred over just to be back with me, since she moved out of her moms. Though…The unfortunate part was my current boyfriend wouldn’t allow us to date… this cause some problems since he started thinking I was cheating on him…our relationship ended and he took the kid since I wasn’t ready to take care of her by myself being only 18 going on 19.
Well, Her and I got back together, then she reintroduced a male who had a crush on me back when I was going to the old school.
We basically had a four way dating thing going on for about half a year, where Her and I were dating, she had her guy and I had mine. Though of course drama always has to take its toll on life.
she cheated on her guy with her old ex bf. and cheated on me with two other girls… She was the first woman I ever had sex with…
But the male is still currently with me, and he still doesn’t mind me dating females as long as I’m still with him.
Currently I’m with a very mature Female, who loves me, and still with that male. My daughter I see almost everyday and her father and I are still friends.
Yes I can see where you come from of trying to get younger girls to stay in the closet. But you know. If I didn’t, not only would I not still be around, but most of those girls wouldn’t be around either. Sometimes coming out is a lot better than holding it in. If my mother did shit like you just posted up on this page. I think I would’ve just shot my self. (even though mom isn’t a christan she’s a witch) I’ve never liked make up til I actually started dating girls.
and I really don’t approve of prostitution. which I’m sorry. Pretty Vietnamese lady-boys, as hot as that sounds is not what I would want unless they were open about it to me. not just surprise me with it. though really I don’t think that would change my preference any at all. really I rather my mother dress a horse up for my prom date if I went to prom at all. (at least the horse wouldn’t rape me or any poor girl)
Congrats on your fucked up child.
hopefully she won’t kill herself when she tries to come to you for acceptance on anything in life.
The Abused.
So you were sexually abused as a young child, and repeatedly betrayed by men your entire life, and now you want to be with women? That’s fine. I can’t blame you. But my daughters just need a little nudging, that’s all. If all it takes is a few sex sessions, then so be it. I’m going to be the mature parent and fulfill my duties by going down the street to pick up a couple of fine specimens of Diccus incognitus.
I’m a lesbian. Does that disgust you, you sick fuck? Does it scare you?
You know, let me let you in on a little secret. Us gays are actually going to take over the world. We have your daughter still, you just don’t know it. One by one, we’re turning every straight person gay, and then we’re going to attack.
You fucking horrible human being. What the fuck is wrong with you.
“Us gays are actually going to take over the world.”
Wow, a militant homosexual. What are you going to do, start a society of artificial insemination and cloning just so you can get your jollies fucking someone closer to what you see in the mirror? You can have your Gattica, I’m going to have my grandchildren.
“We have your daughter still, you just don’t know it. ”
That’s what you think. Yesterday she told me that she realized that she wanted to be with men, because every time she dates a woman it ends up having a penis. I was so proud.
You couldn’t be more ignorant. There is not a psychologist out there who would consider any of the things you listed a proper way to handle a gay/lesbian child. All it will do is cause psychological damage and ruin your relationship with your child. Maybe if you had a gay kid, you wouldn’t be such an ill-informed homophobe. I hope you rot in hell.
I’m not going to be rotting in any fictitious hell. I’m going to be enjoying social acceptance and a complete lack of having to put up with any gay bullshit.
Ah… don’t you love the humorless, Miss Ann Thrope? Reminder to all other comers (no pun intended)– don’t take life so seriously… nobody makes it out alive anyway.
Now to repost this tasty tidbit on my facebook and see how many of my homosexual compatriots laugh their fool heads off… most don’t take themselves this seriously either. Hope you had a merry solstice holiday, dear.
You can tell your homosexual compatriots that I am sorry for not being here soon enough.
There is no way this could possibly fail.
I’m am truly stunned that she was serious… I thought this was a joke. The blatant ignorance is remarkable and frightening…
As serious as a stroke. I would respond to your negativity but it is too general and imprecise to reason with. This is not a joke, make no mistake about it. There is nothing funny about the benefits of hiring Southeast Asian prostitutes to set your gay daughter straight. They may be expensive up front, but if you prorate the cost over her lifespan, its just pennies a day. Less than your cup of coffee in the morning.
This thread is easily the greatest thing I’ve read all day, I need to go find more of your articles. You’re an evil genius.
Thank you for your kind words, but there is nothing evil about what we do here. It’s for the children, when it comes down to it.
I’d love to have sex with two leebians. I mean, what guy wouldn’t? If anything, we should PROMOTE bisexual and lesbians for the common greater good!
Finally, someone who understands the benefits of changing one’s sexual tastes.
However, I disagree about the bisexual aspect of your comment. Having a bisexual daughter just ensures you have some sort of kinky freak thing running around with your surname on it. Even the gays are often suspicious of bisexuals, and who wouldn’t be, they’re indecisive.
Dear Ann,
Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.
I’m sure I could show you a thing or two why your daughter would choose to be with a woman.
Sincerely,
Your dream come true.
I went through that phase already.
Ann –
I just finished reading your article on “Getting the Gay Son You Always Wanted.” How can you live with yourself as such a manipulative hypocrite?
In the article above, advocate trickery and deceit in order to manipulate your daughter, to keep her “…from eating from the other side of the buffet.” I can only presume your aversion to homosexuality is morally or religiously based, since it would shake my faith in humanity too deeply to believe that someone as proper as you would actually feel inconvenienced by a child who didn’t match your fantasy/perfect world view.
Alas, after reading your article on gay sons, I am shaken. In this previous article (linked here for any of you who want to read it: http://www.theladiesmonthly.com/2010/12/getting-the-gay-son-you-always-wanted/) you state quite clearly: “having a son is basically a waste of time and energy for a mother.” You go on to say that most women, yourself included, would rather have an abortion than a son.
I’m not even going to touch on how sick and convoluted your line of thinking is. You have no moral authority to proclaim the righteousness of one path or another, because you have no moral compass to guide you in these views. You see a child as a parent’s plaything, something that should be shaped and molded to provide you with entertainment, someone you can take shopping, talk with about men, gossip about women, etc. Nowhere do you make any effort to recognize the fulfillment and happiness of the child. Even if the argument could be made that homosexuality is wrong because it will lead to a lifetime of unhappiness for the child, it is not your argument. Your only selfish concern is that a homosexual child could cramp your lifestyle.
I hope that, when you grow old and find yourself dependent on your offspring, they don’t view you as an inconvenience and ship you away to a nursing home to die a lonely anonymous death. I still want to believe that something truly good and virtuous might come from you. I haven’t seen it yet, though.
Just because your moral compass is broken doesn’t mean that mine is. The logic is simple. Gay daughters provide little to no feminine entertainment, or any of the traditional perks that straight daughters do, like marriage. Gay sons, on the other hand, provide all of the womanly pleasures of straight daughters with none of the downsides of straight sons, like marriage.
Wow, I’m amazed at how many people have totally missed the joke. Have any of you outraged commenters taken five minutes to either poke around the rest of this site or really look at what “Ann Thrope” is saying?
I don’t know what irritates me more … the trolls who write for this site, apparently unable to get any attention in the real world, or the people who are so stupid that they think this is for real.
Trolls? Who are you referring to? We are not trying to stir the pot for our own sake. We are providing a service, in the form of information, to those who need it the most. The reactions you see here are the result of people being uncomfortable with change. It is no surprise to me that some people react this way, and I have made sure that we can all learn from their mistakes by not letting them get away with it. One day, we just might live in a world where a mother can influence her daughter’s sexual taste in peace. One day, Chris, one day.
i had a mother like you. i hated her. she thought everything about me was wrong and that i was an “abomination” because im a lesbian. every night i cried myself to sleep because of her. i started failing school because i knew no matter what i did my mother would never accept me anyway. a mere month after my mother found out i was gay, she had caused so much mental damage to me with her methods for “turning me straight” i began cutting myself in a desperate attempt to escape thoughts of that wretched woman. every day she told me she was ashamed to even breath the same air as me. and you know what my mother eventually pushed me to? my attempted suicide. thankfully i was saved by me best friend (a girl) she stayed with me everyday for ten years after that. shes now my best friend and the love of my life.
does his give you any understanding at all of what you could be putting your daughter through? i sincerely hope that she finds happiness in her life without you in it. i haven’t spoken to my mother in ten years and it was the best decision Ive ever made in my life. please realize what you are doing to your daughter because you could just be killing her.
I must say, all of you folks who are freaking out about ignorance really are being foolish. This woman “Ann” has repeatedly stated that she uses Asian lady boy prostitutes and you really believe that this article is truly intended to turn gays straight? She is using a writing technique in which one takes extreme examples in order to show how irrational they are. In essence, what she is doing is saying: there are people out there who believe they can turn people straight, isn’t that irrational? Then, stating “common knowledge” (basketball stories, rejection of pink, things that people generally do not seriously relate to lesbianism) she over simplifies what lesbians are and adds humor. Over simplifying an entire subset of people points pretty strongly to satire. So, before you all get your panties in a twist, realize that this article is meant to satirize people who are hellbent on turning their children straight, not to glorify bigotry.
What the fuck is satire?
They way I figure it… this was just an experiment to see what kind of reaction this person would get. Anne Thrope is a shortened name for Anthropology. Some person or persons wanted to do some anthropological experiment on the interweb to see what kind of reaction one would get if they put up some outrageous shiat. If it is true… then I just feel sad…
Well that is a new one. You think my name means anthropology? I’m going to call my mom and see if that is the case. Hold on one second, I’ll be right back.
No… nope. Just a name. Would a woman by any other name, write as sweet?
I honestly can’t say which I find more disturbing. The fact that you write this shit, or the fact that people are taking you seriously.
Honestly people, by replying to this nonsense and getting angry you are giving this women the attention she craves. If you must, read it as if it was a satire, laugh, share the stupidity with your friends and move on with your life.
Ignore her and understand that she doesn’t matter to you unless you deem her important.
Thank you for deeming me important enough to give me the attention I crave. I really appreciate it. I’m just going to forgive you for the rest of what you said because you were nice enough to do that for me.
Ann,
I love you.
Ann,
Are you delusional, or are you a brilliant satirist?
As I have already explained I am neither.
You are disgusting! A horrible person! I can’t believe you actually posted this. The last paragraph was just fuckin sad.
You can’t make someone who is gay strait, just because your daughter maybe a jock does not mean they are gay.
Don’t believe all sterotypes. You might just be surprised.
By the way transvestites like Men. If they are women dressed as guys then they like women! Get your fucking facts right!
“By the way transvestites like Men. If they are women dressed as guys then they like women! Get your fucking facts right!”
Way to contradict yourself. You tell me to not believe all stereotype, then you tell me to believe the stereotype that transsexual lady-boys can’t be bisexual, or even heterosexual. You are the bigot. I am just a concerned, sensible mother. I don’t about the ways of the lady-boys, as long as my daughter isn’t one of them.
What signature? I am an athiest, and you are an idiot. I am quite soulless, as I do not believe in some supernatural bullshit like that. I must confess also that I do lack the “power of reason of kindness” although I must also confess I lack the power to decipher what that means. I cannot know how misguided I am, because I am not misguided. To know an amount of which I am misguided when I am not at all misguided would be like dividing by zero. Not defined. Much like your stomach. I will not pity you, and I encourage you not to pity me. Pity is a waste.
Sincerely yours,
Ann Thrope
Editior-in-chief
The Ladies’ Monthly
A very “professional” email received from the editor-in-chief. Perhaps, you should focus more on writing better articles or learn how to deal with negative feedback and how to respond to it. You won’t go very far in life if your first reaction is to name call and trash talk to your readers.
Sincerely,
A
Maybe you are the one who needs to learn how to deal with negative feedback and how to respond to it. Posting it as a comment without any context (namely, your own idiotic e-mail), is not getting you anywhere, obviously. And you’re the one trash talking. You’re the sarcastically saying I am “professional.” What is that, if not trash talk? So looks like we’re in the same boat, hussy. Step off that high horse and come roll in the mud with me.
To those who are excoriating Ann Thrope:
I think that she’s doing a FINE job of articulating her mindset.
Wow…I’ve heard and read a lot of insane moments but this is just ridiculous -_- Fact is homosexuality cannot be changed, anyone claiming to be “ex-gay” are still gay and suppressing their feelings, and those who have tried conversion therapy, about 99% of them have wound up unsuccessful. Just look at even the founders of Exodus International who have told people they were wrong and re-come out as gay. But it’s nice that you think you can change someone, here’s an idea, how about you go try to change a Catholic to Muslim? Or someone who’s Black to White? Oh right I forgot…you can’t, because it’s who they are, just like being gay is who they are. Go give your advice to people who will actually believe crackpot ideas.
This is exactly why parents must change those deeply rooted feelings about sexual identity. Its not about simply making them fake it, although that can work too. The goal is to change them forever.
You are a very sick person.
No, not really. I haven’t had a cold in ages. Aside from a couple diseases I can’t really get rid of, I’m not sick at all.
Haha, wow. This is some definitively terrific nonsense. Thankfully, this magazine is so poorly constructed and unknown that very few people will take this “advice.”
I resent that, Joe Tipperton, if that is your real name.
I followed all your advise, but my daughter just won’t quit her sinful lifestyle… What should I do?
You could not have followed all our advice and failed, but in the rare case that you do, I would suggest that you get rid of her and make a new daughter to try again on.
I’m going to try this as soon as I can.
Thanks, Ann.
I think I’m in love with you.
Hello Ann,
My name is Tanner. When I was four years old I realized I was different. I didn’t want to play sports, or go wrestle with the other boys. I liked to colour and play dressup with my best friend who is a girl. I grew up in a home where I was aloud to be who I was no questions asked. My parents were very loving and accepting of all people. When I was in grade eight I found the word for what I was. I am gay. I told a few people but wasn’t ready to tell the whole world yet. When I went to highschool, I found people who accepted me and helped me be even happier with who I was. Once I became comfortable with being gay and happy with it, I met a boy named Andrew. He came out to me and 3 weeks later we were together. It was one of the best feelings in the world to look into his eyes after we kiss and know that we both feel this bouble-fizzy-pop inside our stomachs. After being with Andrew for a month we decided to tell our parents. I told mine and they were very accepting and happy that Andrew was a special someone for me. Andrew’s parents also accepted him. Life was great, we were loved and happy. Andrew and I fell in love. I knew I loved him when he took me to a hill and held me and looked at the sunset. I will never forget that feeling of falling in love with a boy. Andrew and I didn’t last, but we remain good friends. I know that the love I had for Andrew was simple teenage puppy dog love-the same as ANY teenager regardless of gender or orientation should feel.
What exactly are you trying to say Tanner?
I’m trying to say it comes down to love. If being gay means you fall in love with the same gender than who cares, it’s LOVE
Love is between a man and a woman, anything else is either lust or business.
Hang on a second. Are you all in on this? Are you all really the same person? If so, great. You should write sketch comedy.
If not…
Then most of you are fucking idiots. Ann Thrope? Ms. Ann Thrope? Sound it out mouthbreathers.
Are you in on this? Are we the same person?
I don’t see what you are getting at about my name, I’ve commented numerous times that any resemblance of it to any word is purely coincidental. If you think most here who are commenting are idiots, well, welcome to the club.
lol this has to be a joke. i definitely thought it was satire, and then i read the comments.. uhh are you actually serious?
anon on formspring wants to fuck you p.s she is a big ole homo!!!! [and we totally have cookies on the darkside *flips you off*]‘
this shit is funny!!!
Dear Ann,
My twin sister and i love reading all your articles together, we’ve been bonding quite a bit.
We really enjoy laughing our asses off at your tremendous inhumanity.:) Our nickname for you is “Hitler on estrogen”
Your views on “ugly babies,” “butch girls,” (redifining rape, rejecting blind people,etc.)Has further convinced me that sometimes there isn’t good in everyone. If i could pick one person to burn in hell (despite my athiesm)it would be you. Since that won’t happen, I’d LOVE for you to write an article about your misfortunes when karma kicks your ass.
PS: I’m a lesbian,and my mother still loves me.
Lesbian twins… bonding… gross!
My life isn’t all fun and games. If you haven’t read my two part article, “Rape can be sooooo embarassing.”
Once you get through this gay incest phase you’ll learn.
Hey Ann, “ultra butch” lesbian here. My adopted kids will always be better than yours… one’s an engineer, and the other is a doctor. I make more money than you, guaranteed. My body is healthier and more athletic than yours. My face has virtually no wrinkles because I have handled little useless stress, i.e. by worrying about my sexual orientation. I can cook up a storm, and I can decorate like a gay male. I’ve saved lives through my career, and I’m damn proud. I am pretty much universally loved and accepted by those I’ve known in my life, except a couple of unimportant, uneducated fools much like yourself.
What have you done? Sat on your fat ass and told other people how to live. You’re a joke, and jokes of your type are hilarious to me. You should be entirely ashamed of yourself… if I were you, I’d personally pray day in and day out for death.
Of course you would bring up how much money your kids make in a conversation about how much better they are than mine. Ironic also you would bring up how healthy you are how attractive you feel, your talents, your accomplishments, your education, and your pride. But none of these things matter. We are all going to the same place, and my daughter’s aren’t going there trying to masquerade in selfish illusions…
like your homosexuality.
I have an average, loving family free of incest& beastiality and all that kinky republican bullshit. Of course your life isn’t fun and games darling, there’s a figurative flagpole up your ass, along with your head. I’m not trying to “judge” you, but if you want loyal readers, try not being a cold, manipulative, preaching bitch.
Rape can be so embarrassing? How about being an instigator of suicide? I think that might be a tad embarrassing. Do you even give one thought about who might read your crap? Do you care? Some young kid out there might actually take your bullshit to heart on off themselves. And I suppose your response would be to write an article on how suicide gets rid of the unwanted gay/lesbian daughters of this world. Darwinism? You make think you’re funny, I can assure you, you are not.
If you don’t go to hell in a hand basket I will denounce my faith entirely. I don’t think I’ve ever been faced with such blatant ignorance in my life. You are as bad as a white supremacy trying to rid the world of diversity and free love. I pray for any unfortunate soul that crosses your path because no matter their sexual orientation you are traumatizing. May you see the error of your ways.
I havent told my mum im gay,but this makes me even more scared to tell her. I dont want her to reject me, or try out these schemes. Thanks youve made a confused 15 year old really unhappy and alone..
Don’t worry Rachel, it gets better. Two, maybe three Vietnamese lady-boys and you’ll be fine.
Hello Rachel!
Please politely ignore misanthrope there, as she is obviously quite disoriented or merely, and more probably, trying to toy with you.
About coming out to your mother; it is not something to truly to be afraid of. I agree it definitely is very intimidating, and you do need to be careful on the subject, especially if your mother is very against homosexuality.
I’d like to give you a few humble suggestions that you may or may not agree on, depending on your mother. These are simply a few things you may think about, if you wish.
First of all, make sure that you yourself are ready to tell your mother. If you feel more comfortable keeping it a secret, then wait. It isn’t something you need to tell your mother right this minute, especially if you still have a few things to figure out about your sexual orientation.
This being said, if you are confused about your orientation and would like to speak with your mother and have her help you figure things out, then I encourage you to do so. Adults can be a lot more understanding than we like to give them credit for.
Second, make sure you act like an adult. Coming out can be scary, but panicking would only make it worse, especially if it starts up a shouting match. If you are sure this is who you are and who you want to be, tell your mom this, and tell it to her calmly and politely.
Also, please definitely do not let your mother decide for you. I highly doubt she would pull any of the nasty tricks listed above, as they are both unrealistic as well as putrid, but some parents would try to talk you back into or out of something, just as they may have tried to keep you from getting a tattoo or sky-diving. No one wants to ‘disappoint’ their parents, but I implore you to follow your own heart and will above theirs (so long as your own heart and will isn’t illegal or something that willy physically or mentally harm anyone else.)
If you talk to her and then later decide that you are actually straight, then this is fine. Sometimes people go through phases where they just like something- just as some girls go through being obsessed with horses or princesses or acting. Remember, you are still young and this is your time to grow!
Finally, think of your mother and put yourself in her place. Depending on the type of person she is and what morals were instilled in her during childhood, different things could happen. She could be confused, or hurt, or even a little sad, and to hide these feelings she might use anger. Or she actually could be a little angry; but that is natural. All people have different feelings when they experience change, and having a child grow up is always a very hard thing on a parent and, while I can’t quite speak from experience, I have a feeling that having a child grow up to have different values and preferences then their own could be even more confusing.
Geez, this message was long. I apologize for the length. Best of luck to you and coming out, and I do hope you’re fully accepted in both your home and community.
Well, I do think I’ve rambled enough.
So I’ve been reading this, as well as your comments, and I don’t quite get it. The first thought of my mind was ‘is this a joke?’, but then I continued down the comments and you seemed almost serious.
I’m afraid, m’dear, that you have quite a few misconceptions. I don’t mean to be presumptuous here, and pardon me if I am, but don’t you think you’re being a tad-bit closed minded? There aren’t just ‘two types’ of lesbians, even if that is the only you have seen. Sexual preferences don’t just stop at the clothing or the speech or the friends. One of my friends is a tom-boy, but I am speaking in the sense of her being more masculine than the pre-set stereotypes of what women should and should not be. She wears baggy clothes, has more male friends than female friends, but she is the straightest person I have ever met. Another of my friends is probably someone you would look at and think “I’d like my daughter to be like her,” as she is quiet and polite and wears little frilly dresses like you seem to think all straight girls do- but she is lesbian.
Not only that, there isn’t just ‘straight’ and ‘gay’. People come in shades of it, such as myself. I am bisexual, which means I could and do lust for both genders. But more than that, I lust for people because of how they act and where their hearts lay, not just because ‘they have a penis’ or ‘appear to have a penis. Honestly, I would hope that by now we could live in a world where you love for love and not for gender.
Perhaps it’s sin, but I’d suggest you spend your time thinking of wars and genocide; I’m sure you might find just a bit more well-put inspiration for your little rants there.
Oh, and, by the way; I caught the little name play. Clever, I suppose, especially if you’re really just trying to make us all mad. And, speaking of which; I’d rather assume you were just trying to toy with people, as thinking there are actually such blatantly ignorant people make me want to take a gun to my head, or perhaps yours. If you are just toying with us, then well done. But know I’m not commenting to rant at you like the child you yourself would do, but merely to set straight any mother who reads this and is ignorant enough to believe a word.
Well, I do think I’ve rambled enough.
I applaud your argumentative tactics, ma’am, but I do think you’re over-trivializing the concerns of the parents. Yes, many ignorant parents treat their semi-adult children as if they can force them into solutions- but then, most people are ignorant, and always have been. Probably always will be.
Is it more ignorant to define your identity around your sexuality (In this instance that would make me Mr. Straight White Male, to use popular systems) or to use inappropriate methodology to address your children’s perceived (real or not) problems?
Yes, parents can be stupid and hurtful. But what makes you think that sexuality is all that much more fundamental to who you are than your beliefs? Actions? Friends? Taste in music? The truth is, most of what we talk about with regards to identity is irrational. Judging someone else’s irrationality with regards to your own position, is a little silly.
I don’t mean to use irrational as an insult here; if you prefer, use intuitive, although the philosophical implications of that word are mildly inappropriate…
A troll never admits they are a troll.
Lmao, am I the only person who sees this as the satire it is? Look at the name. Anne Thrope? As in Miss Anne Thrope? This is way too crazy to be serious. It seems like a parody of the ridiculous mentality behind homophobia to me. But who knows. Maybe we really do just have a small time psycho on our hands.
I honestly don’t know how anyone got past the ‘jasmine scented anus’ comment and still thought this wasn’t a joke.
There’s nothing funny about a jasmine-scented anus.
Ann – This is a play isn’t it. You are doing this as a joke just for the attention arn’t you. You don’t care about homosexuality or anything like that; this is just a topic you knew would be debated and you want the acknowladgement that you get lots of traffic.
What you have written is plain impractical and I doubt it would work, but from your other coments I just get the idea that this is all a farse.
Step out from behind the curtain and lets stop being silly.
LMAO I think you guys are missing the point- this is clearly meant to be a satire. You had me going ’til you mentioned hooking your daughter up with a transvestite. Then I just LOLd.
Imagine you grew up in a family that didn’t approve of people being heterosexual. Imagine the message you got over and over again was that you were disgusting, wrong, damaged, and immoral for being attracted to another gender. Imagine that you weren’t allowed to marry a man, or live with one, or that you could be fired for loving a man or even arrested for it. Imagine you fought to be attracted to women but nothing worked, no matter what you tried or what other people told you. Imagine that you were constantly told, in both subtle and blatant ways, that you were bad and that no one wanted you to exist. Imagine that you were turned away by your family, your coworkers, your neighbors, and everyone else you hold dear because of something that you couldn’t change.
That is what so many gay people go through every single day.
How is that right?
You’re just plain sick and your mind is back in the 1700s. But the likely-hood of finding a guy who’ll dress in drag and then (since you obviously expect him to molest said daughter) transform into a handsome suitor to set her Straight is like a fanciful, delusional belief in unicorns. But its also really sad, because you are essentially promoting date-rape here.
You need serious SERIOUS help. Homosexuality is not a disease, nor is it a psychological illness. Quit your blind bible thumping and open your eyes because lesbianism is REAL, BEAUTIFUL and ALIVE and it isn’t going anywhere, especially for the ignorant like you.
Lesbian kisses darling~
Trolololololol~
Though this is too ridiculously stupid to be anything but satire, please remember that there are people in the world who are ignorant enough to take you seriously, and their gay kids are going to suffer for it.
For the record, my bedroom is baby pink and white, I love Disney, I dress very girly, don’t play sports, most of my friends are girls, and I’m still a lesbian.
Congratulations, Miss Ann Thrope, (Misanthrope for those of you not yet catching onto the joke), for a successful troll.
Ann Thorpe, you’re truely a horrible, ignorant, ridiculous person who’s probably never met a gay person and doesn’t realise quite how hurtful and ridiculous this article is.
To be honest, I more pity you and your poor children who have to put up with this sort of shit. i hope for their sake they move out as soon as they can walk because if you’d try and ‘reprogram’ your daughter if she’s gay I dread to think how forceful and oppressive you are about other issues. Please don’t ever write anything like this ever again.
xoxo
LOL, thank you for the laugh! Your attempt at trolling the Interwebs was, if not particularly creative and original, at least amusing by the sheer simplicity of stupid put forth in your article!
(P.S. On the off chance that you are not a troll, I have to say, wow, I do feel sorry for your general environment! Being that ignorant and obnoxious cannot be easy on anyone! I hope to God that your daughters found better resources to help them grow into mature human beings than your, quite frankly, toxic influence.)
It’s people like you that make LGBTQ people feel inadequate and even suicidal. I hope you see how harmful this is and take it down, or this shitty little magazine removes it. sexuality is not something you can change and suggesting it is is not only hurtful but makes you look like an idiot.
xoxo
Are you saying people can’t change their sexuality of they want to? That would be just like you, trying to say what people can and cannot do. Take it somewhere else, I have no time for it.
Trololololololol
Fail Troll is Fail. Clearly this is a troll.
Successful Troll is Successful. Guys, don’t buy into this. If you read through the comments, and read all of Ann Thorpes’, you will start to notice all the inconsistencies. The first thing that triggered me off was the Vietnamese lady-boys comment. Someone who doesn’t beleive homosexuality is morally right is not going to hire a TRANNY. Then being angry at being cursed at yet cursing back. Then the comment about God, yet she says she is an atheist. Best thing you can do is go post on the comments “Fail Troll is Fail”
I want to know why being a lesbian is not okay but sexing a Vietnamese transvestite is.
:\
Is this really a legitimate publication? Whether the commenters are being rude or not, I can’t see anything that justifies some of the verbal attacks written here by the author. Ms. Ann Thrope, you’re writing stuff that is clearly closedminded and becoming more and more unacceptable in modern society– either keep it to yourself or stop being a pussy and take the angry comments as they come, or at least respond with at least *some* shred of grace. It’s far more professional and you could be so much less an asshole.
If you don’t know by now, there’s no sense trying to explain it to you. And yes, this is a perfectly legitimate publication. Spare me your submissive tripe, I’m doing just fine.
This is very disturbing. I would like to think this is just someone joking, but I fear people think this way.
Some people are different from other people, accept that.
If your wish is to dominate your offspring in their life, I fear the one who should be changed is not your daughter, it is you.
Fist, this article implies there is something inherently wrong with being gay, that is not the case.
Secondly, this article implies anything can be done about it, this also is not the case.
A third point is, that if you temporarily guilt your offspring in a heterosexual relationship and they do get children, they will have a new guilt-fed bond to whoever they were chained to. If you think homosexuality can be induced, try a mother who loathes the father of her child, you may have succeeded in making you child’s life miserable buy publicly straight, if your theory is correct, it will just hop one generation.
You forget that:
a) homosexuality is genetic, as are any other sexual orientations. They are hardwired into your genes, so if you are gay, that is it, you are gay.
b) What is wrong with being gay or not having children. There are already billions of people in the world, having one or two less is a blessing. You can always do a madonna and adopt a child from a less developed country and make its life better. And if being gay allows you to find happiness, then it is so.
c) Any place that doesn’t permit gay marriage is backward and usually controlled by some backward religion. Perhaps you should listen to what makes you and others happy then to a book written thousands of years ago in a world that is long since obsolete, when women like you weren’t even allowed to work or do math without being called a witch, which to me sounds mega-backward.
And finally, you sound like such a discriminative, bigoted women who just can’t accept a single new idea because she is so scared of change. If you tried getting a job here in the UK, you would be thrown out of the interview at light speed, and i assume that your co-workers in the states can easily get you exhiled from your job for discrimination in the workplace.
a) Actually there is no proof that homosexuality is genetic. Numerous people have swore off heterosexism for totally personal reasons, like abusive husbands or getting annoyed with the smell of Old Spice. Who are you to tell me I can’t become a lesbian? No one. That’s right. You don’t need a specific genetics to fuck anything you want, be it man, woman, couch, or dog.
b) Nothing is wrong with it, but its no good for mom.
c) I never said anything about marriage.
You’re just someone who has opinions. Congrats. Have this coupon for one free massage at Ms. Woo’s Vietnamese Transsexual Massage. Ask for the chili
Wow, nice to see all your “reasoning” is to prevent poor WI mom getting embarrassed. It’s not even the usual religious rant; heck, I could respect that more, at least then you’d be doing these things to “save” her. But no, it’s actually all about you and what your friends think. Your social status is more important than the happiness of your own daughter. If your friends would really shun you because of your child’s predisposition, then maybe you have the wrong friends.
I’m a lesbian myself, and for the record I don’t have a deeply traumatising past, nor have I spent too much time playing contact sports. Likewise I am not just bored with male genitalia because I am a whore as you continue to assert. I just am attracted to girls. I have fallen in love with girls. I don’t hate men, most guys are lovely people and several of my best friends are straight males. I just don’t like them that way, and I am not going to force myself – or them – to be unhappy in a relationship because of it.
If you have a gay daughter I feel bad for her, having a mother who is so selfish and flippant about a secret which has likely plagued her for years. All that time desperately confused and worried about gaining your acceptance, then she finally plucks up the courage to tell you about this important part of herself and all you’d do is try to “fix” her and set her up with transvestites. Impressively poor parenting.
fml….. Proof that alcohol causes brain damage….
You are sadly mistaken if you think any of this will actually work on a woman who is homosexual or bisexual. The fact that you suggest it to people, and the risk that someone will take you seriously and try it, is horrifying.
Mainstream society, for years, has shouted in terror that “the gays” are trying to convert their children to their “lifestyle” through sneaky and subversive methods. Firstly, that’s not possible to do because sexuality is biological. Secondly, many of these people are huge hypocrites, spouting nonsense like you, trying to “convert” them to what YOU want, and in the process humiliating them and demeaning them as a human being.
I am going to earnestly press your employers to remove this article, and remove you from your position.
Are you… kidding me? SERIOUSLY? There’s no way to “cure lesbian/gay” people. This would never work. My mom tries to shower me with girly shit try to butter me up and ask me why I like to buy myself super hero comics. The other day, she told me I was different from my sisters. I know I am, and i don’t mind it. I’m not into all that but I’m completely straight. And how I know that, is that I actually have my turn of staring at nice looking boys or looking for them via internet. Being less feminine doesn’t mean you want to be a complete lesbian. Being less masculine doesn’t make you gay. This is a load of bull. I’m sorry, but this…is just too invalid to reason with.
Dear Ann Thrope
I can understand wanting the best for your children and wanting them to grow up perfect and successful. But did you ever stop and think what really is the best for them or the best for you? If your daughter wants to be a homosexual then isn’t that her right as a free willed person to make that decision? I think forcing her to change who she is will only make her more determined to be who she wants to be.
Also do you have some personal vendetta against homosexuals? what have they done to you to make you hate them so much? God wants us to be who we want to be to love everyone not hate them. Isnt it in the Bible to love your neighbour as yourself? what if your neighbour is a homosexual? if you hate them does that then mean you hate yourself?
If this article is just a joke and you wanted to see people’s reaction then woo hoo well done you have people hating you for forcing your daughter to change who she is right now. she may just be “experimenting”. looking at all options before making a final decision. But if your really serious (judging by your replies you really did waste money on ladyboys you could’ve spent on her education) then I ask you to take a step back and ask yourself is this really doing the best for your daughter or for yourself? Yea ok its not great for you having a daughter who prefers girls instead of boys. but does that really change her? she’s still your daughter the one you gave birth to and raised to the best of your motherly abilities. but in my opinion you should be proud of the fact that she is an individual and that you raised that individual to make her own choices and mistakes in life. that is what life is about. being imperfect. making choices and dealing with what comes with them.
Yours sincerely
ok. have just read all the comments including mine again. still stand by what I said. people make their own decisions in life about everything including their sexuality. However have concluded that this article and all replies and comments made by Ann Thrope are an elaborate and very clever joke. The alternative is just too sad and sick (as in twisted not ill) to contemplate.
Hm, Funny. My mother never tried any of this when she found out I was a lesbian [after I broke up with my first boyfriend.] In fact, her exact words were “As long as you are happy and not blowing up a police station.”
I feel sorry for your daughter, I do hope you know that when she is old enough to be on her own, You will NOT be in her life. I’ve seen people attempt to do this in public, and years later their daughter has disowned their parents and lived the life they wanted to.
If you can’t accept the fact that your daughter likes the muff, I can’t wait to see what you come up with when your son comes out saying “Oh, and Mummy, I like a nice, hard and thick cock up my ass. Oh, and this is my boyfriend. Robert.”
Actually I encourage my sons to be gay because they are much more fun that way.
Ann Thrope says:
May 14th, 2011 at 7:12 PM
Are you saying people can’t change their sexuality of they want to? That would be just like you, trying to say what people can and cannot do. Take it somewhere else, I have no time for it
LMAO!!!! If I’ve read this right basically you told this person that they are just like YOU!! Very hypocritical Ann. You tell someone else off for telling people what they can or cannot do and yet you have written an article and been replying to people doing that exact same thing!! People can change their sexuality if they want to but you have written an article (in fact several by the looks of things) about how to force people to change their kids sexuality against their will. And just because your daughter said to you she’d rather have a guy is because you have paid men who dress as women to seduce her. Don’t care if you think she has changed her sexuality because you haven’t. All you’ve done is forced her to want men. let her experiment. give her a woman dressed as a man then see where it goes. just for thrills!
I like the idea about the woman dressed as a man though, I may use that as a test to see if the treatment worked, as a sort of reward mechanism. She’ll learn that when she’s attracted to men, some of them might actually be women, which I’m sure will motivate the little dyke.
If you were my mother, I would hate you. No young woman is that stupid. The fact that you would strive so hard to change your daughter instead of just loving her for who she is, is -sick-. This woman, whoever she is, is either a master internet troll or mentally ill. I hope she lives long enough to witness a society that accepts people for who they are instead of continuing the tradition of condemning that which we do not understand or approve of.
“Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak, but should be submissive, as the law also says.” (1 Corinthians 14:34)
Coming from the same bible that you so cherish. I wish you took every verse as literally as you take those regarding homosexuality…
After scrolling through the comments, I see that you are indeed atheist, so therefore disregard the latter half of my previous comment. Though you may as well disregard the entire thing, as I can see that many have also tried to provide an argument as to why this article is completely ignorant. Pretty sure its all trolling.
But if not, people, you trying to convince her that this is wrong is the same as her trying to convince you that its right. Just walk away, unless youre here for the lolz.
It really reminds me of the “all black people eat water melon and fried chicken while downing grape soda as they smoke crack and shoot people” or even “all mexicans in this country are illegals that are stealing our jobs, riding around in a car with 40 people in the back, and only eat tacos”
“Oh believe me, if you hire the right transvestites it is not rape. Its pretty hard to refuse a 15 year old Vietnamese ladyboy with supple, hormone-encouraged breasts, minimal male sex organs, and a jasmine-scented anus” <—-She totally knows from experience. 'pretty hard to refuse' mmmmmhmmmm….
"Don’t worry Rachel, it gets better. Two, maybe three Vietnamese lady-boys and you’ll be fine." <—-Really got a thing for them lady boys dont you?!
"There’s nothing funny about a jasmine-scented anus."<—SRS BSNSS!
"Have this coupon for one free massage at Ms. Woo’s Vietnamese Transsexual Massage. Ask for the chili
"
"You might want to drive down to Tijuana if you’re really looking for a quality market with a lot of selection"
I hate you, but you are indeed hilarious.
Dear Ann Thrope,
Your namesake seems to precede you in this matter doesn’t it. Clearly you don’t like people very much, least of all gay people, and it seems that you’re relishing fighting a losing battle. For 9 months you’ve visited this comments section to fight your corner. I have to ask myself what a person can do in 9 months for the common good of society, for someone else, for themselves and it seems that your daily visits to defend yourself are helping no one. How strange that the author an article to ‘help moms’ has invested so much time in a losing battle.
I’m not angry about this article, I think it’s absurd, bizarre but most of all I think it’s sad that you encourage others to adopt your ridiculous strategy of preventing people from being gay. I beg to know what qualifies you to become an authority on the matter?
Luckily, the past 9 months of comments prove that in fact, there’s probably very few people that agree with you and the ones that do are absolutely stark raving mad.
I hope that god sees fit to cast you into the darkest pits of Hell for this…
What’s god going to do to you for wishing hell on me?
Okay, if you really are just making a huge joke, it’s not even a little bit funny. Stop.
If it isn’t a joke, stop anyway. Being gay doesn’t hurt anyone. At all. I’m not sure why you think it would. Being against it does. I’m sure your cold black hole of a heart has loved someone before, how would you feel if someone were to say that being with them was wrong?
And upon noticing your “Getting The Gay Son blahblahblahblah whatever” article, I’m being more convinced that you’re joking. So please stop, this doesn’t humor anyone. You’re a very twisted individual.
It doesn’t humor anyone? Maybe you should ask everyone before you speak for them.
what the hell is your problem? me being around many homosexuals, i would rather be around them than you, because most of them aren’t sadistic assholes like you. and i hope that “anon” gets you fired. now go die in a hole, even though it would be a huge disrespect to that hole, and everyone who made that hole.
To whoever wrote this, you should be neutered / sterilized, because it is actually inhumane to do this to another human being, let alone someone you should love unconditionally like a child. I hope you burn in hell, you ignorant, manipulative scum.
Is it inhumane to want to sterilize/neuter a person and then send them to a fictitious burning land for all eternity?
Oh for goodness sake! Haven’t you people ever read The Onion? I suppose you don’t find that funny either. This is SO over the top I don’t see how anyone missed the sarcasm, especially if you looked at anything else on the site. Hello? Anybody actually thinking before they become enraged? And don’t tell me I don’t understand, I’m a bi woman raising two kids…I think I get (theoretically) why you are mad, but really…if we can’t see the humor of making fun of the assholes who hate us, who can we make fun of?
What is your motivation for writing this? Why do you not want young girls to be gay? Do you know any actual gay people? Are you aware that other people’s sexuality doesn’t effect you at all?
…does no one understand that this is clearly a joke? I think my only criticism of this is that your humor is (apparently) a bit too subtle, Ann. Otherwise, it’s hilarious! The Bait and Switch, classic.
Being a lesbian, I can tell you better than anyone how much we queers enjoy victimizing ourselves by becoming overly reactionary to even the slightest hint of homophobia, sarcastic or otherwise. As you can see by these replies, we’re really good at taking the high road when we feel “attacked.” So until all members of the gay community can learn how to take a joke, keep on writing hilarious columns!
I read what you had to say, and quite frankly I think it’s inane and ignorant. Your words and methodology for ‘curing’ daughters of their lesbianism is the reason why there’s hate in this country for those that have a sexual preference different than your own or what is the social acceptable norm. People need to learn acceptance, not force their homophobic views onto people—just like I would ask that someone would not push their religion onto me nor their own sexuality onto me, I think everyone had the God given right to be free to be who they want where they want and when they want and if you don’t like it, keep your damn mouth shut. Isn’t it mothers that teach us, ‘if you do not have anything good to say do not say anything at all’? Well, I think that applies in this case, this is not a favorable ‘how to’ document, it is based on homophobic prejudice that this country can do without.
…cannot tell if serious. I hope this is a terrible joke >_>
This is pretty friggin’ funny. All the rage on here makes it even funnier. You folks HAVE heard of satire, right?
Ann Thrope, you get the award for longest troll of the century!
My favourite part of this gruesome thread is that Ann Thrope is actually just a grumpy lesbian herself!
It’s ok Ann, even if you did decide at 14 that you would be straight, noone’s going to be upset if you change your mind! It’s time to start ‘eating peaches from the other side of the buffet’!! I can’t wait. Then you can hang out with all the fun gay boys even more! And you’ve already got kids so need to worry about that little chestnut that has wound you up so much. Finally, you may be surprised at how accepting many other people turn out to be! You never know, your friends might just be agreeing with your extreme views because they don’t want to get on the wrong side of you, but if you actually just turned around and admitted that you’ve always been hiding your true sexuality I’m sure they’d understand. And if they don’t? Well, who needs them anyway, gay boys are way more fun!
Best of luck coming out Ann – I know you can swallow your pride and fear and do it!
I can’t tell if this is satire.
So in summation, you’re a fucking bigoted, closed-minded idiot, and the very reason people can’t get over the stupid stigmas behind homosexuality.
Congratulations.
You’re obviously very angry that your daughter is gay. Its very funny watching you throw a hissy fit, you stupid whore.
Please tell me this is a joke.. it’s a joke right? It has to be.
I really hope this is a parody because i find your viewpoint quite hilarious!
If you aren’t trolling, this is really just pathetic.
Nó được 20 năm! Tại sao không gọi?
ahahah, it’s so funny how many people don’t realize that this is a hilarious example of ‘trolling’ on the internet.
Everyone who’s commented, please go look it up?
You’ve been ‘had’.
Really? This is what you do in your free-time?
Here is a shocking idea, how about if they just accept their child as who she is and not condemn her to a life of depression and loneliness because she knows her mother will never approve of anyone she loves.
Maybe you should just love your daughter unconditionally instead of trying to change her due to your own selfish and hateful worldview.
You are one of the worst people in the world
You argue that an adopted child is not legitimate, seriously go to hell.
You people are the reason why gays are hurt and discriminated against.
How about you be a real parent and accept your daughter for who she is? If you love your child you accept her even if you disagree or disapprove of her decision.
If this is satire, you do it a bit too well and are still spreading a hateful message that some people may take seriously.
This is painfully unfunny either way
I don’t know if you’re only trying to start a major controversy for attention or if you’re serious. I find it hard to believe anyone can be this ignorant and stupid.
Troll obvious troll is obvious. Stop getting your panties in a bunch over someone whose exact intent is to piss you off. Seriously. Trolls exist because people make them exist.
“Buy her movies like Snow White, The Princess Bride, and Cinderella, along with music by artists like Dolly Parton, Neil Young, and Britney Spears.”
HAHAHA
IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE I’M A LESBIAN AND I LIKE ALL OF THESE THINGS
I’ll admit that I was writing a multi-paragraph retort to this article, and then I realized…I’m being trolled. Looking through the rest of the articles on this site, I slowly began to realize that this was a comedy website. You sure got me good and riled up, though!
Best troll ever
DD
That’s horrible. If you truly loved your child, you wouldn’t care if they were straight, homosexual, asexual, whatever the case may be. Love is love, why can’t you leave it at that and let your daughter be happy?
Hello, I am bisexual girl. I think its a good thing for girls to be gay, for 1 you dont have to worry about teenage pregnancy =P so this is ridiculous, everyone should have a right to choose who they want to be with, You cant control what they think is beautiful and sexy. I have best friends who are straight up GAY and I love them for it because they are showing who they really are. How dare you try and control them. if your daughter or son come out to you to tell you that they are gay that is a huge personal risk for them, the last thing they need is having their own family turn against them.
I wish I could just full on make out with a girl right in front of you. You have HORRIBLE moral values.
“I wish I could just full on make out with a girl right in front of you. You have HORRIBLE moral values.”
Sounds like you have some identity issues.
Identity issues…? I am ************, I am fifteen and I think that both boys and girls are beautiful and sexy. I have had nothing but good fortune in my life. But thank you for getting back to me =)
Girl, first lesson of the internet, don’t post your real name online. There’s plenty of people who could find your address from that. I may be cruel and heartless but I edited your name to protect you. In the future, be more careful about that if you don’t want some 35 year-old neck-beard knocking on your door unannounced.
If you felt secure, then why would you see the need to assert your sexuality to me? Why would you care about what I think at all if you are really secure in your sexuality?
And if you’ve had nothing but good fortune in your life, I’m sorry, you’ve got a whole lot of disappointment ahead of you.
This is horrible. Its like you people have something against gays. I see nothing wrong with that. I am 13 and I hate it when people at my school make fun of this one boy for being gay. And the boys talking about lesbians like they are just for porn and all this ridiculous stuff. Very rude to think you can change a person. People can not be changed unless they want to.
Rude to think changing ones daughter to straight will fix this whole gay/lesbian/bisexual/transsexual thing. Really it just shoes you people have no moral nor manners to accept the different. You should she ashamed with this artical. Those mothers will just have to accept their daughters. And fathers will have to accept their sons. They are not born this way and never will be. Its their choice and if they are attracted to the opposite gender then so be it. We can not change them. They are still human beings and always will be. Love is love and will you all deal with it. These people here get why this is wrong.
Its sad to know that such reputable advice sites have become so desperate as to hire ignorant women like you. Not every lesbian is a “whore” or a tom-boy. I’m a proud mother of two and a wife of 12 years. I KNOW that I love my wife. I dated men in younger years, and I know quite well my sexual orientation. I pity whatever country you come from.
While the LM is very happy to know that you recognize our position as a “reputable advice site” I’ll have you know that they never hired me. In fact, I do the hiring around here. If you have a problem with some of our content, it is probably not the result of some mistake of mine, but rather some personal failing of yours.
Good stuff. Funny to see people take it so serious, especially in our increasingly tolerant world.
Clearly this article is meant to be an amusing joke as no webpage would EVER go so far as to insult such a high percentage of people for the sake of their popularity.
This ‘lady’ is obviously trolling Miss Ann Thorpe.
Misanthrope.
Stop feeding the troll, it is only here for attention.
I don’t need attention, honey. I write for the Ladies’ Monthly. My attention quota is filled. What I do need though, is a daughter I can take out shopping that doesn’t want to go to Hot Topic every. fucking. time.
you know….what if even if your daughter decides to date men again, but she DOESN’T want grandchildren? that seems like a pretty big thing to you, that you use your daughter as a baby factory.what then?
i myself am Bi-sexual, and this sickens me.it makes me laugh however that you think that stupid methods such as these can get your daughter to become straight. and as you said before that there’s no proof that homosexuality is genetic? its true that there’s no proof for females, HOWEVER there IS proof for Males that their sexuality is genetic.
you wont change your daughter, no matter how much you try. and i hope that she is able to escape from you soon, so that she can live her life
“what if even if your daughter decides to date men again, but she DOESN’T want grandchildren? that seems like a pretty big thing to you, that you use your daughter as a baby factory.what then?”
This is an excellent question! In fact, look out for an article on convincing your kids to have children in the very near future, “Grandchildren: Guaranteed!!!”
“HOWEVER there IS proof for Males that their sexuality is genetic.”
And source? Understand that proof is a very strong word.
what were you thinking?
10/10
hahahahaha. if you didn’t spend so much time trying to change someone & being negative about it, but instead were positive and accepting you would be a much happier person along with the person you’re trying to “help”. what exactly makes your views so right and theirs wrong hmm? love, peace, & understanding is what the world needs more of, unfortunately there are people like this spreading prejudice & hate… everyone is different. accept it, you will never, ever be able to change that. hate gets you no where. just attracts more hate. look at all these comments. is this really the kind of thinking you want to be sparking with your posts?
Should I stop writing my articles because people hate them? Of course not! They killed Jesus. Should he have just shut up once the Romans got pissed off? Nonsense.
I cannot be blamed for the hate other people bring to the table. If they want to behave as animals, so be it. I will beat the shit out of them.
maybe you should do some more reading and educate yourself before you run your mouth off
http://discovermagazine.com/2007/jun/born-gay
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20050128/is-there-gay-gene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PooEhBxh0NY
and oh really? so you DO see your daughter as a baby factory.how pathetic for you
You need to read your own articles. The Discover article has some bold sentences, but when you read the fine print, you find that what they’ve shown is not that homosexuality is part of one’s DNA, but an expression of the Methylation of one’s DNA. They found that in Identical twins with the same DNA, their sexual orientation differed as much as 50% of the time. How could this be? Methylation. Please read your own article,
“Methylation turns off certain sections of genetic code. So even though we inherit two copies of every gene—one from our mother, one from our father—whether the gene is methylated often determines which of the two genes will be turned on. Methylation is inherited, just as DNA is. But unlike DNA, which has an enzyme that proofreads both the original and the copy to minimize errors, methylation has no built-in checks. It can change from one generation to the next and may be influenced by diet or environment. ”
So there you have it. Looks like that one slipped right through your fingers. Too bad. I can’t wait to see the science on finding the diets and environments that can Methylate the genes of our sons to make them gay. This is truly revolutionary stuff here.
-_-….you probably dont even know what Methylation is, or even how genetics work.and judgeing by this article, AS WELL as the others you have posted, im not surprised.
the discover article is also OLDER then the other articles.even the NIH has posted articles about the matter that claim the same thing.and its not just some small medical facility its the NIH….if you even know what that is. http://www.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs/user/scotts/bulgarians/nih-upi.html
“the finding does not explain all homosexuality. Seven out of 40 pairs of homosexual brothers studied did not have the common genetic factor, the researchers said. ”
so it doesn’t explain ALL of it, but 7 out of 40 is a huge difference.the small % are probably people who have been abused by the opposite sex and no longer desire them, or similar things.
grow up and get over yourself
Correlation does not equal causation, and with 7 exceptions, that’s all you’ve got. Keep dreaming. 7/40 is nearly 1/5, and distributed over the entire population that is a HUGE amount of exceptions. Something else is going on there… and I think its ladyboys.
Ahahaha, that was awesome. Best trolling ever. It’s nice reading all the responses and seeing that nobody agrees with this opinion in seriousness. :3 Although I do feel bad because it sounds like some people have actually had these sorts of things done to them.
But man… I wish someone had sent me a really successful transvestite to go with me to my prom. I might actually have gone instead of staying at home and dicking around on the internet!
LOL. This made me laugh so hard. Clearly this is some 13-14 year old child trolling away on the internet.
Thank you KellyJane for linking this.
You are a disgusting person. What on earth gives you the right to write something like this? I hope your ‘god’ is happy to have such a bigoted little shit like you for a follower…
“What on earth gives you the right to write something like this?”
The first amendment of the Constitution of the United States.
Trolololololololololololololololololololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, DUMBLEDORE!!!
They see me trolling, they hating!
I’m offended.
I am a 14, almost 15 year old girl, I’m bisexual, and my mom has no problem with this. I’m perfectly girly, I have a pink room, I wear lots of make up, I wear skirts and dresses, I have long hair, often braided or in two ponytails, I LOVE Snow White, and I adore Britney Spears’ music. My best friend is a lesbian, her parents know, her whole family knows, and they don’t care. It doesn’t make her any different or any harder to have as a daughter. She is 17, and she’s been going out with the same girl for almost two years now, and they’re still as in love as they were a year ago. This doesn’t bother her parents at all. Just because some parents are homophobic, selfish and non-caring cunts that just want to be like everyone else, and doesn’t care if their children are truly happy, does NOT mean that all of them are.
Please, it’s okay for YOU to not want to have a gay daughter, but the line between motherhood and childabuse in this is very small. I’ve seen my friends being kicked out, because they simply enough would not change because of their parents. They are being themselves, and because of that, they don’t have a family or a home. So yeah, you have the rights from blah-blah-blah whatever it’s called, I don’t give a shit, but what gives you the moral right to do this? HOW on EARTH can anyone have the nerve to be so horrible?
YOU don’t have to be okay with gays, but keep that opinion to yourslef, thank you very much.
I’m offended, really, really offended. And I’ve been spat on, mind you. Now I regret klicking that link a friend gave me. I really do.
I hope you’re ashamed of yourself, because otherwise you have no heart. Or soul.
Lol, I see I’m not the only one following Kelly on Twitter here.
I love just how fucking retarded this is, seriously I hope you were wearing your helmet when you wrote this cause you must have just kept smashing your head off the keyboard to write something so retarded
lol, You know there is no god right?
Absolutely. I am an atheist. What’s it to you?
Ann Thrope: you are truly a shithead. How could you think that anyone would actually give you any positive feedback on an article like this? Did you live in some sort of religious commune? No one gives a rats ass about your articles. You are a terrible writer and a terrible person for suggesting such nefarious acts. Fuck you.
To who ever made this article: I dislike you with great intensity.
“Ann” likes to reply using the “Boing Flip” method. This method is simply taking a persons words twisting them, and throwing it right back at them.
I do not support “Ann’s” way of thinking nor do I support people who like the same sex.
Ann I’ve got two words for you: lipstick lesbian. Because in all fairness, not all lesbians are butch, some are quite girly. and if you feel this is best for your children By all means you do what you think is right, as much as i’d like to tell yo how to raise your children I can’t.
For other mothers who read this, I hope that you are smart enough to realize if this is a good idea or not. If you really feel it necessary to play the “religion” card Let me remind you that you really have no right (even as a parent ) to tell you kid that they are going to hell for being gay. The honest truth is if they are gay, then they are gay and they will have to deal with it with god not you.
Seeing as your kid is probably still alive, rather than avoiding the elephant in the room you should really talk to your kid when THEY have come out to you.
DO NOT ASSUME AND CONFRONT YOUR KID THAT THEY ARE GAY!!!!
you may think that they are and if you have a hunch and your gut is telling you so, then i bet you that your right. However, if they have yet to say anything to you then i bet you they are still tying to figure out who they are and how you define them (gay or straight) will have somewhat of an impact of how they define themselves.
Overall, Ann , as a fellow Christian, let be the first to say the fact that you would try and trick your daughter into being straight is not an honest or nobel thing to do. True as a parent that you should control certain things in your kid’s life, but you cannot control who they love. The reality is when they do that they usually rebel, (and really, there are a whole lot of things that are way, way wayyyy worse than being gay. Being gay isn’t even a bad thing as far as i’m concerned)
Besides, if other comments on here can’t convince you to stop being a biggot, what makes you think you can change who they fall in love with?
I’m just saying..
For the love of whatever you hold holy, please read other articles these people have posted. Here are some examples:
“How to lose 25 pounds in one day”
“Changing Yourself For The Man You Already Have”
“Turning Down Caring for Your Elderly Parents with Taste”
Even the name “Ladies’ Monthly” is a euphemism for a woman’s period.
As to whoever wrote this, pretty funny but it would be better if you had a disclaimer on your page stating that you’re a satirical blog. Upsetting confused teens is not cool.
There will never be a disclaimer on this website because we have nothing to disclaim.
Snerk. XDDD
Ms. Thrope – I thought at first this was nothing more than a bad choice of subject for you to write a comedy bit on. However, there is nothing funny about what you have said here. Your attitude is pathetic and dangerous. This is not 1950 (Thank God) and your archaic morals are a sham – even in true Christian circles.
It is even more of an aberation if you are not a Christian. Why? Because you do not, then, even have false morality to hide behind.
Further, you have no First Amendment right to espouse such slanderous words. Those Constitutional rights are null and void when you use them to endanger the welfare of other citizens. And since you see fit to stand by your malignant thoughts and words you must bare the full brunt of the discourse, even disgust, of the multitude that disagree with you.
I end with a quote by Ben Franklin, someone who knew better than most what true rights are about.
“Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.”
“Those Constitutional rights are null and void when you use them to endanger the welfare of other citizens.”
You shouldn’t even talk like this if you want to live in a free country. The clear and present danger clause ONLY applies to speech exactly like screaming fire in a crowded movie theater. Nothing here is aimed at anyone’s immediate actions, so you are wrong. You can take your desire to erode the first amendment to another country.
Unless you want to get down to business and get rid of the first amendment all together. Personally, I’m all for it. That way we can silence people like you who feel that they have the right to tell me how to live.
Holy Jesus Titty Fucking Christ you people are stupid.
To Oy Vey: Upsetting confused teenagers is cool. In fact it is more than cool it is fucking sweet. It’s so cool it actually hurts I have been laughing that hard. Especially to the repeatedly abused on again off again carpet muncher. You deserve plus a million internets for that story. Now go kill yourself and do the human race a favour.
To all the rest of you stupid bitches out there, Female or Gay Male what ever the case may be, whom have responded to this “article” with disgust and anger. You are all retarded dumbfuck ignoramuses. I am blown away that any person who can actually read English could take this at all seriously. But then all you need to do is read the comments and the world is proved to be full of the dumbest low life creatures of all, the enraged self justified house wife and gay male of the slightly urban Americas. All you see for page after page is reactionary morons so desperately itching to voice their moral outrage that their Oprah induced carpel tunnel down syndrome shines through like a guiding light telling us indeed sterilization should be mandatory for 95% of the population. Seriously every single person that posted something serious in these comments, you have ultimately been trolled like you useless dumb pieces of shit that you are now go back to watching The Ellen Degeneress show and await the end of your pathetic lives without ever again venturing out in the dangerous world of the internet. Because you are so dumb, it just isn’t safe for your kind out here.
My sister’s gay.. and she turned out fine. You should eat out a chick sometime, might change your mind on all this stuff.
Don’t worry, I’ll hook you up with a nice “man”, and you’ll get a very nice surprise ;D.
this article is a Joke, in fact the whole site is a joke to provoke flame war and increase traffic and make money out of the sponsors. Sadly some people will believe what they read here and follow those pseudo advice and there “Harmless Joke” will do harm.
This isn’t a joke, you are, for posting this comment on so many articles. Shame on you, for thinking this is some kind of money making scheme. Actually, the money has already been made. Our subscriptions have gone through the roof, and we’re printing stacks of magazines that are shipping out worldwide. We’re rich! Filthy, filthy rich!
[...] this a joke? I can’t even tell [...]
Dear Ann Thrope,
I won’t bitch about you being ignorant. As much as you are, insults don’t help people like you. Obviously, you are religious. Do you follow the Bible religiously? Then you must know it is contradicting. If you follow the anti-gay ‘rules’ the Bible sets, surely you must never wear jeans, or jewelry. You better know what I’m talking about or you’re just a bad Christian.
However, my question is this: what is wrong with liking the same sex? Do you have a husband? Do you love him? Then you must know how much that feeling – that person – means to you. Do you honestly feel that it is a good choice to take away that feeling and the option of being as happy as you are with your husband from your child, even if he/she is homosexual?
Truly, you must know of spermbanks as well as adoption, if you are worrying about grandkids. And if that really is a reason for you to disrespect your daughter and her sexuality, than you are a selfish person. Your daughter/son can do whatever she/he wants with whomever she/he wants. It’s not about the sex. It’s about the love.
I realize that ignorant, selfish people like you are unlikely to change your mind. The only thing I truly hate about you is that people like you make other religious people seem like ignorant homophobes as well.
Despite the utter, horrific dissapoint and disgust I felt reading this article (especially the third option) I wish you a nice day; there aren’t going to be many left for you.
If God exists, he supposedly loves everyone. Even your daughter. So why can’t you?
I believe this is a very bad trick someone is playing on the the people of the interwebs. They are just laughing at the comments and enjoy angering people with their responses.
You can’t decide someone’s life for them. How would you like it if there was always someone standing over your shoulder trying to control your every action and thought?
You’re retarded. A good parent would be supportive. Maybe suggest they didn’t like it and they should be straight. But if they don’t want to they don’t have to. These ‘strategies’ are ridiculous and would never work. Love is love. So suck up and deal.
if this isn’t a joke I’m disappointed in you truly.
I desperately hope you are trolling your readers.
I was linked to another article, the “Beware of Video games” one, and decided to take a proper look around this site.
I’m truely shocked at how completely insane this article is.
You, a homophobic woman who stubbornly refuses to accept what an opinion is is genuinely trying to FORCE you daughter to be straight?
I’ve lost all faith in humanity. Please die, so that the average intelligence of the world can go up by about 100 IQ.
no one is this stupid or evil
i think this is a joke web site like onion news
Too much obvious trolling.
The author of this piece of crap has sucked way too much cocks.
This is a parody, isn’t it? ^__^
References to “bait-and-switch” in the article… listening to Britney Spears as a straight example… This MUST be parody! LOL!
Go fucking die
Alternate title. How to alienate your daughter, and die a lonely prejudiced hag.
Once again I would like to say that this is an excellent piece of work. As I detailed in a comment on the “How to turn your son gay” article I would use a modified version of this on my daughter to turn her into a tomboy bull dyke.
Yes, people can choose what they want to be sexually.
There is nothing wrong with me or Miss Ann Thrope guiding and shaping that sexuality however.
This is a joke right? cant believe I got angry for this troll.
You pulled the God card, and pointed out that it is a sin, and morally wrong to be gay or bi sexual, but then you continue to say that premarital sex is a way to “turn your daughter straight”
Being a lesbian, or bi sexual, to you is a sin, but setting up premarital sex upon a teen isn’t?
As a gay young man I’d like to say, THIS WAS FREAKIN HILARIOUS.
XD and you stay in character for all the comments too. I love it!
Wow, you have got to be one of the biggest troll I’ve seen, easily comparable to the great Julian Assange, my hats off to you, madam!
Before I forget, please do not let your talent go to waste and join the site of 4chan! We would really appreciate your ideologies and method of expression!
Guys… this is obviously not true. It’s actually a very well-written satire- the fact that so many people got angry about this proves that! Yes, maybe it’s a little bit too convincing, but it’s meant to do good, not bad. I mean, even if you were unsure about the true meaning after the original article, the comments should have been enough to prove to you that it was fake. “Jasmine-scented anus?” Seriously?
Reread over the article with the mindset that it’s a satire and you’ll understand how it was actually meant to be read.
I’m a stupid person, please disregard all the bullshit I say. Dear The Ladies Monthly please fire me!
Mediocre satire at best. You went too over the top IMHO.
ms. Thrope, i am a Christian and not wearing jeans or jewelry is so out of context! in that time jeans didn’t even exist! and jewelry was symbolic! like a pierced ear meant you were a slave! if you are not a Christian yourself, please do not make references to my BIble. And once your daughter moves out and has a family, she will not need you. my mother and grandmother haven’t spoke to each other since my mom got divorced years ago! and my mom is totally fine. if you are against homosexuality just don’t encourage it just go on your merry way and support the kid that came out of you when she makes her disc ions my mom tells my sisters and i constantly that unlike her mom she will ALWAYS LOVE AND ACCEPT US.
Everyone walk away from the attention whore. Its no use talking to her, she in super bitch mode.