Getting the Gay Son You Always Wanted
by Ann Thrope
Lets face it, ladies, having a son is basically a waste of time and energy for a mother. Sure, some mothers might love their sons, don’t get me wrong, but myself and countless other moms would rather just have the abortion. There’s not going to be any enjoyment in it. No fun shopping trips, no sharing of clothes, and no mother-daughter chats in the van. But there is a way to mitigate the malaise of having a male, and that’s getting him interested in boys. Gay sons offer all the same benefits as straight daughters. You can talk with them about men, gossip with them about women, and never have to worry about them bringing home some cunt who shows you no respect. There are innumerable ways to nudge you son towards a homosexual lifestyle, and here we have assembled the most effective.
Ahh... behold, the sweet relief of having a gay son.
1. The Dry Teat
A simple way to have your son become sexually interested in men is to cut off all emotional contact with him at birth. Do not show your son warmth or affection, these actions will imprint on him a sense of physical comfort with women. Instead, have your husband show him the affection, but you best to let him do so without saying so. Encourage him to be an active father, take your son to all of his sports and clubs, shower with him, and kiss him goodnight on the lips. After some time, your son should feel an extreme physical physical alienation with women, and an extreme physical attraction to men. Stoke the flames to whatever level of femininity you desire by chatting with him about womanly things. You could even have him read this magazine!
2. The Bait and Switch
The great thing about this tactic is that, as our committed readers know, it works wonders on lesbian daughters. For the uninitiated, the method boils down to this: hiring a man, dressed as a woman, to seduce your son and attempt sexual contact by fording the perceptual barriers to sexual attraction through clever disguise. A Vietnamese lady boy or two should do the trick, and most will agree to package deals if your daughter started watching anime and you need to intervene. You could try being sneaky and setting your son up on a “blind date” with your newly hired man servant, but you need not be so cunning. It is every young boy’s fantasy to have their parents hire them a high-class-hooker to take their virginity, so you could probably just be up-front about the arrangement, but leave some of it a suprise. He will never see “it” coming. After the panties slide down those freshly-shaven legs, he’ll be given the surprise of a lifetime, a night he will not soon forget.
3. Shop Smart
What you buy your son can make or break your plans for his impending homosexuality. The right video game and he might never consider being sexually interested in women, let alone men. The only homosexuality he will ever have would be viewing gay pornography and screwing around with his loser gamer friends after you go to sleep. Get him interested in something that will drive him towards plentiful friendships with women, like reading fiction, writing poetry, dance, and performing arts. If you have the money, figure skating is a near certain bet, but it takes morning upon bleary-eyed morning of commitment before you see results. Buy the right clothing as well. Never settle for blue jeans, unless they are Calvin Klein and worn with an untucked collared shirt. Birkenstock sandals can also work well if he isn’t at risk of being lost to the hippies, but otherwise penny loafers are sufficiently gay, just be sure to include two shiny new pennies for maximum effect.
4. You are What You Eat
If you feed your son meat and potatoes, he will become a meat and potatoes kind of guy (straight, aside from deep sexual insecurity). You need to start him off right with tofu, soy, and other products that will raise his estrogen levels. Avoid red meat, as it will affect testosterone levels adversely to your purposes. Buy the right fruit, always go with bananas over peaches. Stick with a vegetarian or vegan diet, which will also help him to become well-adjusted to eating the food of his future kind. If he absolutely refuses to go vegetarian, steer him with the right selection of meat. Keep hot dogs on hand (be sure to call them wieners), and always, always buy sausage links, not patties. Before you know it, chowing down on kielbasa will be who he is, and you can enjoy all the rewards of having a gay son to call your own.
I’m so gonna try and give my toddler soya wieners.
YOU AGAIN ANN!!!!! do you just write for shock factor or are you truly so twisted. ps you are a control freak.
Control freak? Hah. Another fool spitting in the face of good taste and common sense. However, I am happy to see that you consider my articles shocking, it is a testament to my skill as a journalist, I think, to be able to elicit that kind of reaction. I may be twisted, when you try to compare me to the masses, but from my perspective it is you, the ignorant, sweating, common folk that are twisted beyond all purpose and recognition.
Dear Ann,
I am a gay man with a partner and we just adopted a 12-year-old Vietnamese boy who we also want to be gay. But in Vietnam he was given a lot of red meat and is already showing tendencies towards women. What can we do?? Is it too late? Should we trade him in for a younger model?
Its not too late, just buy him the Breakfast Club first, as a transition, then follow it up with 10 Things I Hate About You.
You confuse me, Ann. You’re against lesbians but all for gay guys? I’m starting to believe that you, in fact, winding us up. Or maybe it’s because growing up with the unfortunate name of ‘Miss Ann Thrope’ has turned you into just that.
Also; “ignorant, sweaty, common folk”? You have your head so far up your own ass I should sell you to the circus.
Only you can wind you up. If the truth bothers you then so be it.
I am not yours to be sold, but I don’t think that it is right for you to demean the circus like that. Its not right to use it as some kind of pejorative offer of employment to which I would not desire. That is just wrong.
I know all there is to know about the crying game. I’ve had my share of the crying game.
It’s with things like this I find it a pitty the dark age mentality is gone. Because you would be lynched for writing stories like this one. You’re just so font on making everything to fit your wishes it’s the most egocentric thing i’ve ever read. This is the reason people think gay people can be fixed.
Yeah but if I could be lynched then my future gay son probably would be too. Hell, you could be lynched for threatening me. Ah forget it. Lynchings for everybody!
What an unbelievable article. Here’s a sick way to entirely destroy a culture, rooted in absolute selfishness.
Sick beyond anything I ever envisioned even possible.
Excuse me, but I fail to see what is so sick about male homosexuality. Please, explain how you seem to think that men loving men is a bad thing. I would love to hear it, homophobe.
Kalinda – then you are an unbalanced and sick individual.
John, there’s nothing balanced about a man spending time reading a woman’s magazine.
Ann, you are my hero. I’ve found a new favourite website, I think
Being homosexual isn’t always a choice, sometimes it’s something you can’t help. It’s almost like a disorder, it can come from low self esteem, or from being abused, or whatever. I’m not saying all are like this, but a lot of them are.
You’re toying with something that people have to live with, something that torments them inside. Some of these people don’t want to be homo, they just are. Sometimes they can’t live with themselves, and they’re afraid people don’t understand them.
You’re trying to control these people, you’re trying to harvest this disorder, so to speak.
I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but having an opinion that you can screw with someone’s life it sick. These aren’t opinions, these are facts, go talk to a professional that knows what they’re talking about before you start controlling people you might not even know.
It’s a sacred ordinance to have children, and you could be taking that away from people, and they won’t know the difference.
What if your mother controlled you to love someone you didn’t want to? I don’t think that would be fair at all.
But hey, this is proof that life really isn’t fair at all.
Well, as they say, half of gay men are born that way, the other half get sucked into it. I am not trying to control anyone. I am helping my daughter control herself, the way I want her to control herself. I’m glad you realize that children are sacred, so you must understand why I would not want my daughter to lose her chance at this most sacred ordinance.
I think it was perfectly fair that my mother did these things to me. Most mothers at least get to “dolling up” their daughters, and for the great majority that is all that is needed to establish their daughter’s sexual identity. This article is for the “sticky wickets,” so to speak, which also, through no small coincidence, are yet another way to do the job.
What.
That is just… so… wow! You are fucked up to the point of being… I don’t even know, but jesus! Gays are fine, but controlling your own offspring so as to have a better parentage is hideous. I thought you were JOKING. God. Wow. GOD.
Joking? Hardly. I’m quite serious about my commitment to my children. Raising kids might all be fun and games to you, but I do better for my kids.
Alternately, make him watch Brokeback Mountain before going to bed every night. Such a beautiful love story.
My god, you are so hypocritical. one second its not right and the next you are encouraging it. while i commend your efforts for accepting homosexuality (on some level) this is just…i don’t think there is a word to describe it.
Wonderful.
Hmmm… well, the article is bit… flawed, perhaps?
For starters, Miss Thrope, have you perhaps been watching too many generic gay movies?
Your take on what a homosexual male’s childhood should be seems exactly copy-pasted from movies wherein the mom is abusive while the father is not present in the family or usually away.
At certain times, it is correct. But at times, it’s not the same case.
Although I would like to note, that kisses pretty much turn anyone on regardless of sexual orientation since the lips and the tongue are vital points for sexual arousal. But that doesn’t mean sexual attraction but whatever.
Next, Vietnamese lady boys. Umm… racist much? I’m pretty sure more than enough numbers of Southeast Asian countries have lady boys. Although some do undergo a sex change… but that doesn’t mean it has to be Vietnamese. Unless you’re implying a case that they’re cheap and STD-free or something which is still racist-y but whatever.
Gay clothing… isn’t everything that Asian pop stars wear gay? I mean, if I wore a sleeveless midriff and leather pants… and have a handsome face, that would still count as gay, right?
So by now, you would suspect I live in Asia which is true.
Any male clothing can be turned gay. Emo clothing, tight-fitting clothes, et cetera et cetera et cetera.
The flashy ones that look fabulous when you do lisps with would cost too much. Especially coming from a country who is as poor as the current state of the United States.
And while theater arts, dancing, poetry and any other hobby that uses wits are considered for girls mostly, I don’t think anyone called those men in musicals or plays “gay”. Nor would they call Sir Walter Raleigh and et cetera et cetera et cetera.
Raising your son’s estrogen levels will increase the chances of acquiring breast cancer. I am serious. Do not go for it. Also, it would make their penises not as amazing as it should be.
They’d be lucky to have it grown to full length if you do follow with the “estrogen” diet.
One more thing, video games don’t make a person not gay. Oh come on, there are plenty of naked men in proper video games if you know where to look. As well as gay relationship-centered storyline games, et cetera et cetera et cetera.
I think you should fix this entire thing again.
Your strategy should be something like “Inception”.
Plant an idea in the child’s mind. Let it grow by itself but of course you need to put the proper clues leading right to your desired result.
It’s more cost-effective way with less guilt, less work for you, more acceptance of the kid to whatever his sexuality is.
And hey, less consequences. No one will ever suspect you.
See? How does that come up for a plan?
“Raising your son’s estrogen levels will increase the chances of acquiring breast cancer. I am serious. ”
But breast cancer can be an excellent opportunity for mother/gay son bonding.
“I think you should fix this entire thing again.
Your strategy should be something like “Inception”.
Plant an idea in the child’s mind. Let it grow by itself but of course you need to put the proper clues leading right to your desired result.
It’s more cost-effective way with less guilt, less work for you, more acceptance of the kid to whatever his sexuality is.”
Most of the article is devoted to subliminally altering your son’s sexuality. The non-subliminal methods included are mainly for that little extra push.
“But breast cancer can be an excellent opportunity for mother/gay son bonding.”
You are a sick and terrible human being. Your children should be taken away from you; you’re raising them in a completely uninhabitable environment.
Breast cancer is CANCER. It’s not just a cold, where he can sit by your bed and wait for you to bring him soup. No. It is a potentially FATAL problem. If you are someone who WISHES that on their son, you need some serious psychiatric help. That’s just…absolutely sickening.
Breast cancer is one of the most survivable cancers. I’d rather have a soaps buddy in my gay son and have to deal with a few extra mammograms than to have to sit through a bunch of baseball games.
Ann you really have to stop calling yourself a journalist. I mean based on that I guess I’m a journalist by submitting this comment.
Comments are not articles dumbass. Try again.
OMG, you are such a loser…
You are unimaginative.
I wasn’t trying to be imaginative, I was just stating a fact, nothing more.
Sounds like Mark is a little full of himself and thinks that his opinions about people are facts. How cute.
Uau, that really hurt… Seriously, you just hurt my feelings by saying that I’m full of myself. I think I need a shrink now.
You obviously do by the looks of it. “Uau”? What is that supposed to mean, crazy?
It’s the portuguese version of “wow”…
In that case, keep your almost-Spaniard ass off of our website. We don’t need your comments any more than we need your tapas.
Hum… Are you always such a racist narcissist?
Excuse me? I don’t believe I said anything racist, and I’m not the one name calling.
You called me a spaniard.
That’s a nation, not a race, Mark, and I said “almost”.
Wow. You certainly are obsessed with homosexuality. Wasn’t that you, “Anne Thrope”, giving tips on how to turn your gay daughter straight in another article? Now you’re advocating turning your son gay?
Can you say “repressed homosexual”?
You’re like the female Ted Haggard with this shit. And no, “shock value” does not equal journalistic skill. Your writing is too ignorant to be funny and too ridiculous to be serious. Who exactly is your target audience?
Wow, someone certainly seemed a little bit piqued by our articles on homosexuality. You’ve even accused me of being a repressed homosexual. Do you see the irony in that? You’ve even named yourself “phaggot phreaks.”
Sounds like you want a little lovin’ from your own side of the buffet.
Whatever helps you sleep at night, Ann…
HAHAHAHAH
LOL U REALLY WERE RAPED AS A BABY LOL DID YUR MUM SEE HWO UGLY U WERE AND LEEV U
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WAAAHEEEEYYYY
NO WONDER UR DADDY RAPED U
HE COODNT GET ANY COZ HIS WIFE KILLED HERSLEF WHE SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU CVOZ UR SOO UGLY
AWWWWW
ITS OKKK
IF UR RAPED BUY A GRAPE
Huh?
What drugs are you on you sick fuck!? Apperantly you dont know how to love and/or like you children for who they are, you insist on manufacturing human beings to your standards. I think you believe yourself to be God, but you are not, you are a person, like i am and your children are. They deserve a mother who loves them, not a dictator to abuse them!
Wow, so now drug users want to have gay sons? I want to hear more about this, what’s the connection? Do mushrooms make you gay?
First off you never answered the above question, “who is your target audience?” Whoever reads this and agrees deserves to be put out of their misery. Doesn’t anyone think there are enough sick and manipulative people in the world already? You all have a mental disorder, following a herder like a bunch of sheep, obviously this has happened to you, otherwise you wouldn’t be pressing this on your kids or anyone else. You shouldn’t have gone through that, it sucks, it really does, but you should learn from mistakes, whether they are yours or someone elses. And if you just came up with this, you need psychological help, now and fast, not just for you, but for your children as well. If your son or daughter turns out to be gay, then so be it, but don’t force it upon them, let them come to the crossroads on their own. Accept them for who they are, don’t try and make them into something they weren’t meant to be just because YOU think they would be a “failure.” And as for the sons not being able to talk to their mothers, I talk to my mother every day, just as I always have. And I mean just talk, gossip, joke around, tell her how my day was. It has nothing to do with being straight, it has everything to do with how you raise your kids. My mom is one of the greatest people I know, one who sacrificed for MY gain(not her own like the twisted person who wrote this article). If you are looking for a “friend” to gossip, share stories, and talk about men with, don’t manipulate your son into being gay, go out and find friends, such as peers, not necessarily your age, to do so with.
I called you twisted, and that’s my opinion, you can look at it as I called you a name, I don’t care, but respond in a mature manner, don’t just focus on that I called you name, actually give an intelligent reply, show me your “journalistic” skills.
I am not twisted. You are a name-caller, and you’re not worth more of my time than that.
One more thing, why is ok for a boy to be gay and bad for a girl. Isn’t that sexist? That’s just like saying women aren’t allowed to go to school, but men can. The ERA made it to where women and men are equal, but I guess in your household your daughter(s) are kept locked up in their rooms why your boy(s) do what they want.
Of course it isn’t sexist. Gay sons are more fun, but gay daughters are such martyrs.
I got up to the bit where it said “you could even let them read this magazine!”. Then I was almost sick. Trust me, letting them read this magazine is a LOT more harmful than the other sick things that you said, such as not showing your son warmth and comfort; in other words, making them feel unloved. You obviously have no idea what being a parent means. If you have kids, I feel so sorry for them… they should be taken away from you, because you are without a doubt the worst parent I have ever heard of.
Michael – please examine your warped sense of humor.
John – Please examine the stick up your anus.
I’m starting to wonder whether this whole entire site is run by trolls, especially given your stance on homosexuality. Bad gay daughters but awesome gay sons? Lulz-worthy.
I’m gay and I find these articles by her amusing to the max. As a gay son with a boyfriend her writing couldn’t be any funnier. I also love how she will reply in a refined and calm manner while people try to insult her, go you Ann.
This is so, soo wrong!
Too much protein lowers testosterone!
http://www.ehow.com/way_5588801_high-diet-effects-testosterone-levels.html
Not to mention all the hormones put into animals lately will also have an effect. Really, no matter what you do, modern life is on your side for getting a gay son!
Ah, of course! My mistake, thanks for the correction. From now on we’ll keep stuffing meat down his throat until he can’t take any more protein.
Cute article, but I see a small problem with your method. Since you are raising your son as a feminine homosexual, there is a huge risk that he will be attracted to masculine homosexuals. If you raise a bi-sexual son, you have the best of two worlds: a feminine son and a feminine son/daughter in law.
Good catch! Thanks for the valuable information.
I have always wanted a gay son! Now I know how to go about it. Thank you for these insightful instructions.
I’m also interested in turning my husband gay – he’s already wary of eating fish, and he’s pretty fond of sausages and The Breakfast Club (as well as Some Kind of Wonderful and Pretty in Pink) – is he half way there already? Will just a little extra effort on my part have him fawning after his own kind in no time?
This is a truley wonerful piece of sattire! Even though it’s intentions may not have been so, this is a hilarious piece that truley captures the image of the stereotypical homophobe. I’m gay, which can only make these articles even more funny. I’d reccomend it to my friends for a good laugh. Thanks for entertaining me!
Wait, why do you want to turn lesbians straight but straight men gay? You’re totally bat-shit crazy i hope you know that. Even if this is a jokes, it’s so offensive.
xoxo
Lesbian daughters are less fun for mom than their straight counterparts, just as gay sons are more fun for mom than their straight counterparts. I thought that was a fairly simple concept, surely mothers out there know what I’m talking about.
Ann Thrope I love you you comic genius.
Hello Ann. I have read your two articles about turning your gay daughter straight and turning your straight son gay and so far, I have been very amused and disgusted by your views–mainly because I believed you were joking, or trying to demonstrate some sort of satire for any ignorant and shallow parents who truly want to force their children to be psychopaths with no sense of self-perception because they were never allowed to have any. I am forced to ask how sane you are because these topics and tips are wrong and they hurt a lot of people and ruin a lot families and psychies.
So you are amused and disgusted at my articles? Which one is it? And you have the nerve to call me insane. You think this is a joke bitch? YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE?!
Sounds like Ann has some issues with women.
My issues do not discriminate by gender.
Dear Ann,
I have been trying for several years now to raise my son as a homosexual. so far I have pushed young Fredi (I have convinced him to stop using the “e” that was at the end of his name, I felt it was camper) to become one of the finest ballet dancers in my local area, and his singing and acting skills are divine. I have even made sure that his main male role model is a blazingly iffeminate male hairdresser. However much to my frustration at the age of 16 he has yet to provide me with even slightly decent gossip and he can’t pick out a decent guy for me to save his life. Worst of all I was shocked recently when i noticed him check out the posterior of a young oriental girl.
However I did see some advantage in this, as his new found “yellow fever” (if you get my drift) should make it significantly easier to get my hands on a ladyboy. My question to you is where is the best place for me to locate one, preferably a clean one as I have no intention of giving my pride and joy gonorrea.
Thank you for your assistance and I pray that the gossip and relationship advice will come naturally after he has been penetrated.
Janice MacPherson
Perth
Scotland
If you’re in Scotland, it might be difficult to find more than the occasional Singapore man-slut, but if you’re willing to cross the pond into France you’ll have your choice of the finest, transsexual whores. They may not smell great but they have the lowest HIV rates in Europe. Your son might have to deal with a little herpes but nothing too debilitating, you could probably just tell them they are hemorrhoids.
That’s great that just happens to be where the family holiday is this year, what a great coincidence. I’m sure I can arrange a trip to the less touristy areas of “le gay Paris” just him and his own “lady” Marmalade.
Thank you so much for your advice, you are a godsend!!
Janice
Fantastic article! Thank you for writing this, it’s certainly a relief knowing that I’m not the only one who prefers a gay son. Wieners and soy milk are a household favorite!
Ms. Thorpe – do you fancy yourself to be funny? Because, you certainly can not be serious. Either way, you are a big FAIL. What kind of site is this train wreck?
Give it up, Ms. Thorpe, nothing is remotely funny about the manner in which you write about any subject.
John, you’re a comedy genius. I see how you’ve invented this persona of an arrogant male, just to tease out arrogant men and force them to see who they are. Brilliant!
can i get a job here??
Oh god I retract my former comment this website is absolutely hilarious.
Or you could create a gay seal, it’s pretty simple if you’re familiar with witchcraft.
I’ll turn your son into a flaming homo for 2000 quid.
seriously this is a joke right
no one is this messed up
Holy shit Ann your insane.
I fear for your children.
“but myself and countless other moms would rather just have the abortion.”
I am now sad. Are you really a mother?
Hahaha! You troll I was taking you seriously for a while there! Good job
You are the best troll ever. So many assravaging here.
Something is seriously wrong with you now that I see this article, even if you are trolling.
Speaking of bringing home a cunt..looks like you were her once and seems you have no idea on proper parenting. I’ll be ashamed for you since I know your tiny peabrain will not allow you to comprehend how rediculous you sound and how you should not be allowed to have a child based on the neglect and utter disgusting bait n switch tactics that are beyond horrible. seems you must be a ginger for you have no soul.
You keep talking about how you want our kids to be “fun” for you. Having a child is about accepting their wants and needs. Parenthood isn’t about fun, its about shaping a child into a productive member of society.
I have three children myself. One went to work at a successful law firm. The next became the owner of a restaurant chain. And the last works at a paper mill. I have always supported their decisions. I taught then the basic right from wrongs, and gave them life advice from time to time.
Alex, the lawyer, got married to his highschool sweetheart. Sarah, the restaurant owner, has a long time boyfriend and he talked about getting engaged to her this year. Finally Steven, the mill worker, has been on and off with a handful of relationships. And you know what? THEY’RE HAPPY WITH THEIR CHOICES! Their lives, their experiences shaped their personality.
I don’t know what kind of sexual abuse you went through that planted this seed in your head, but don’t encourage parents to force habits upon their children. Watch them grow and keep them on a steady course. It worked for me, and all of my children are happy and successful.
Parenting is about growing the future generation, not having a buddy. Don’t get me wrong, I had friendships with my children, but I made sure they had a social life and made their own friends.
Also, wanting your kid to get cancer to bond with them? You have to promote the health of your children, not sentence them to a bunch of hardships as their body falls apart. Steven got in a car crash a few years back and had severe damage to his kidneys. You know what I did? I donated one of my own to him and saved him from death. Did I ask anything in return? No. I didn’t make him change his life to accommodate my desires.
If you want a gay friend, GO FIND ONE. Don’t manipulate your children.
“Women with fucked up views on life”? I am a man and I wholeheartedly agree with Miss Ann Thropes methods and views.
She wants a gayboi so she can talk lady talk.
I would probably use a variation of these methods on my daughter (if I ever have one). After all what is the sense in having someone who just wants to go shopping or paint nails? I would rather have a bull dyke of a daughter who wants to go to baseball games and have orgies with her friends.
In other words, yes people may choose who they want to be with but while I or Miss Ann Thrope are dealing with our children we have the right and opportunity to shape them into something more pleasing to us.
If this is serious, this is fucked up. Everybody should have a right to choose who they want to be with. It’s just these women with fucked up views on life who write shit like this.
Is this a mag for feeble minded individuals who don’t have the willpower to do anything but be a zombie and get brainwashed by a magazine article?
Mother doesn’t always know best.
Everyone has the right to choose who to be with, but mothers have the right to help teach their children who to choose to be with. Would you be fine with your children dating drug addicts or dangerous people, or do you teach them to avoid those people as mates?
The style is brilliant, the prose fantastic, the ideas are perfect, the method and delivery flawless!
10/10 Miss Ann Thrope! I believe you know what that 10/10 means and it is well earned. I have never seen such an excellent example of ‘an art’.
Dear Ann
You should be shot for these articles you wright I am gay and I am utterly disgusted. You can’t turn some one gay. It’s a personal choice not one to be made by you mother or guardian. Guy being attracted to guys doesn’t alway mean they will talk about men with you or dress fashionably, hell most guys would like to wear a hoodie and sweats all day than dress up according to the so called “fashion” every body has their own idea on what fashion is.
Also you other article ‘how to set ur gay daughter straight’ sent you kindle contradicting yourself? I mean you said being gay is a bad thing in that article now your promoting it? You really are a sick twisted woman and can go get raped.
Thirdly as you said in your article about lesbians they are selfishly robbing you of grandchildren? I would just like to inform you that gay couples can have children other ways than adopting.
Go choke <3
Are you kidding me? It’s called satire people. You can’t make someone gay anymore than you can make a bird swim. Calm the frick down and have a little fun!
Another fine article, I certainly cannot wait to read more of your delicately crafted masterpieces!
BIGGEST TROLL THE INTERNET HAS SEEN.