Ladies Nationwide Capitalizing on New TSA Patdown Procedures

by Ann Thrope

Notice the smile of the man searching the bag. Was it from his enjoyment in invading her privacy, or was it a cleverly placed nude photograph?

The time has never been better to pick up your dream man, and due to new regulations, you can have your pick of TSA agents across the nation. Many women are flying airport to airport in search of the hottest TSA studs to sweep them off their feet and into black body bag for further review. Pardon my kink, it’s been a while.

So what strategies work best? There is a lot of competition now. Airports have become feeding grounds for women hungry to find their soul mate. Going commando is old news. Bra-less? It’s been done. Letting the end of a foot-long steel dildo peek out just beyond the area of resistance?  … now we’re talking.

If you want to nab a TSA agent, you have got to be innovative. They have seen it all. They get their pick of young children and pre-teens, so if you’re conventionally attractive, even smoking hot, your looks alone won’t get you more than an ogling at the full body scanners. The photo might get you brief stint in porn, if you’re lucky.

So you’ve got to go beyond what is expected, but most of all it helps to be dangerous. That’s right. You’re just a woman to these TSA agents, they have their pick of you. What they really want is danger… suspense, and above all, drama. Everybody who’s anybody knows that TSA really stands for Terrorism’s Sexual Agent. If you play into their games, you will be greatly rewarded. Try forcing your mark to remove your C4 tampon, or pineapple grenade anal beads.

If all else fails, refuse the scanners, the pat-downs, the aggravating questions, and the luggage searches… and bag yourself a cop.