The Seven Deadly Sins of Atheists

by Tanya Peabody

God has graced some of us with the courage and will to accept Jesus Christ into our hearts at this time of great trials and tribulations. However, God has also left us with plenty of work to do. In order to heal the world, atheism must be extinguished from the face of the earth. Rarely do we ever take the time to explain why it is that atheism is a scourge, so for your reading pleasure I have written here my correspondence with God on the matter of the sins of atheism.

1. Atheists have no problem holding hate in their heart, especially against those who have found God.

Atheists haven’t accepted Jesus Christ into their hearts, so there is plenty of room for the Devil to jump in, yell “SURPRISE!” and encourage them to fault others, hold grudges, and fear the unknown.

2. Atheists think they know.

Ever had to have more than a 30 second conversation with an atheist without arguing? It is impossible. Most atheists only care about one thing, and that is telling you that your belief in God is wrong. When you tell them that their disbelief is wrong, they go into a hissy fit. Sometimes they even try to argue that belief in God is no different than belief in a pasta monster. They don’t even seem to realize that God is not a man in the sky to anyone, God is EVERYWHERE. God is EVERYTHING. God’s hands are our hands. God’s breath is our breath. God’s eyes are our eyes! It is truly sad that the hate of atheists allows them to misunderstand us believers in God so much. To disbelieve in God is to claim that there is nothing.

This mohawked ignoramus doesn't even have the enthusiasm in his beliefs to stand with his sign.

3. Atheists are hypocrites.

Atheists always blame religion for all the world’s problems. They claim that religion creates hypocrites. They don’t stop there though, because they take the opportunity to distance themselves from believers by hating them for how they are. They chalk up belief to some kind of personality defect or psychological problem and move on. Meanwhile, they turn into a sniveling rat who can’t be around people who aren’t also atheists, because they can’t handle a little cognitive dissonance when their solipsistic worldview gets challenged, or worse, they realize they aren’t as happy as us believers. You don’t want to see the red-faced God-hating rat who notices that.

4. Atheists lie.

Atheists tell people, including their children, that God doesn’t exist and that Jesus Christ didn’t die for their sins. God does exist and Jesus Christ did die for our sins.

5. Atheists are cowardly.

Because atheists don’t believe in an afterlife, they fear death much more on average. Without having faith in God there is no grace for them in this world. Atheists are known to enjoy staying indoors, reading books other than the Bible (unless it is to satisfy some insecurity), and avoiding physical danger.

6. Atheists are disagreeable.

Atheists get most of their enjoyment in life from arguing with people. If it weren’t for that, there would be nothing  to distract them from their suffering. Right now I’m doing the atheists a favor by giving them all a reason to live for another day, because that is just the sort of kind, charitable soul I am.

7. Atheists kill.

Atheists don’t have morals, so if cornered or threatened they will kill to save themselves. They will also kill to protect their possessions. If it weren’t for their money, they would be revealed for who they are. Some notable atheist murderers are Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, and all of the people who comprised the militaries which executed their genocide of millions. Atheists will kill to get what they want if they can get away with it, because they have no reason not to. No morals, no path, no reason to love another human being. I’ll be lucky not to receive anger and threats about this article.