Teaching Your Baby Why to Use Makeup
by Ann Thrope
Lets face it, not all babies are cute. Sometimes, yes, they are like little angels, but more often than not, they look and smell like little pudgy old people. But how can you tell if your baby has a face only you can love, and needs a little freshening up? And once you find out, how do you teach it the importance of wearing make-up every day?
Try watching your friends reactions when you first introduce them to your new baby. If they rush to hold it and start making baby sounds, chances are you are in the clear. However, if when you introduce your child they seem taken aback, and when they hold it they keep it at a distance as if it might bite, your rugrat might be in dire need of some help with its looks. Knowing if your baby needs makeup is easy, but teaching it the “how” and “why” to use make up can be difficult at such a young age.
Your baby needs to be given the motivation to learn how to improve its appearance. Tell the baby it is an ugly baby. Whenever you take it out in public without makeup on, cover it up and don’t let other people see it, and most importantly, don’t let it see other people. The goal is to show your baby that it needs to look respectable to be allowed to show its face in society. If it isn’t catching on, try subtle pinches whenever it receives positive attention. This process will teach baby that just because some people like how it looks without makeup doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have to wear it.
Once your baby sees why makeup is so important, you need to cement the experience of putting it on as a positive one. Apply the makeup yourself at first, making sure to do it like you eventually want the baby to. Go over how to apply the eyeshadow, blush, mascara, concealer, and whatever other products are necessary. On days when the baby is wearing makeup, treat it like the cutest thing in the world. Shower your baby with praise and gifts, and make sure to show it off to friends, relatives, and even total strangers. Every other day, skip the makeup but treat your baby like an ugly baby that nobody wants. Keep it inside, in the dark, away from attention or human contact. After doing this for a few weeks your baby will have all the motivation it needs. Before you know it, your baby will be applying makeup all by itself. If you have any difficulties or the baby isn’t doing a very good job of applying makeup, repeat the conditioning exercise mentioned earlier until your desired results are achieved.
I really hope this is a joke. Do you really want your kids turning materialistic and obsessed with beauty?
“Tell the baby it is an ugly baby.”
I really think that’s a pretty dark thing to say to your kids.
I don’t even want to see your kids, how can you let them live in ignorance? You have to teach them to look good. People judge each other based on how we look, and I don’t want anyone thinking my daughters are tomboys, or worse, poor. Not only does it reflect badly on them, it reflects badly on me, because its my responsibility to teach them as a parent.
It’s important enough to teach your kids to care about their appearances, but it’s more important to teach them to be confident in themselves, with or without makeup. IMO introducing a child to makeup at such a young age isn’t the actual problem with this article – it’s the fact that the child is going to be dependent on makeup to have a sense of self-worth. That’s never healthy.
At least let her grow up enough to learn a thing or two about society before exposing her to the uglier, more adult side of things.
The adult side of things is not uglier, its more beautiful. Babies are like little savages before they are taught about the world, they know nothing about how to act, thats why as parents we have to teach them. If you read anything about baby psychology you would know that the younger you start, the more the habits they learn become automatic. Now, do I want my daughter being lazy with her makeup, or suffering over doing it, or do I want her to not mind putting it on? I think its an easy answer, is it not? She has to do it, it might as well be second nature to her.
oh my god, you are an awful human being. you’re kids are going to grow up so ridiculously materialistic. what did your stepfather/uncle do to you growing up? You plebeian ignoramus.
Materialistic? Heavens no. Sensible maybe. You don’t understand how we women have to live. Without looking good we can never be taken seriously in this male-dominated environment. I’m only doing my daughter a favor by making it easier for her for the rest of her life. For the record, I have a very loving family and I was never abused.
I found this article VERY insightful. Keep up the good work!
When I have children of my own, I will be sure to use this method! It’s important to me to be accepted in the Gothic society, and I can do that through not only me but my future family. My child will learn in no time how to properly apply the pale foundations and black eyeliner!
Does your method work for more than just makeup? Because if I can teach my children how to wear proper clothing as well as makeup, then I could use my saved time to hang out with my band brothers. Being able to correctly place studs, fishnets, and leather is very important.
Thank you for this exceptional strategy for keeping our Gothic look going for yet another generation!
“Babies are like little savages before they are taught about the world” – this is the worst comment of the bunch. Babies (and children) aren’t little imperfect versions of adults…they are different and have different perspectives on the world that we can no longer access. We can learn as much from children as they can learn from them.
You, my dear Ann Thorpe, are the “savage”. I pity your offspring.
With my daughter I found it was most effective to always point at other women and comment on their makeup. Comments like, “Oh, look at her, no lipstick, isn’t she hideous!” or “See how beautiful she is with all that eyeshadow?” helped reinforce the message, and by the time she got to preschool my daughter was ASKING to wear makeup.
Ann Throp you are a discusting, terrible person. Make a baby have self esteem issues and hate themselves without make up at the age of 2. good parenting skills
If only your mother had spent as much time teaching you how to spell as she did teaching you how to be a tomboy.
i’m not a tomboy, i wear make-up, i do my hair, i’m actually very girly, my mom just gave me the option to start wearing make-up when i wanted to. She taught me to love myself without it so i did not grow up thinking badly of myself, and being a materialistic bitch. And second of all why do you hate tomboys so much? You really are like Hitler, just hating people for no reason accept they are not your version of perfect. And as for the spelling, can you read what this says Fcuk Yuo …i bet you can so i don’t worry about spelling to much unless i’m writing an essay.
I’m really glad that barely anybody actually listens to you, trolling or not.
Ann I hope you are kidding with this ,
I wear mAke up by choice, my mom never forced me and I never forced my girls
I think you are the reason so many girls are self conscious about their appearance in school and often worry about that rather than academics
You are the reason American children are getting dumber
Oh I am the reason? Then how did you get so fucking stupid?
What is wrong with all u people, or should i say animals? u are all absolutely fucked up in the heads!!! these are babies not your psychology project! the most important thing they need are their parents to love them and take care of them, and all u can think about is what they look like??? people like u do not deserve to have children and should definitely not be allowed them either!!! who the fuck do u think u are to cover them up with bags on their heads!!!??? this is the reason why people grow up to be unloved and depressed, coz scum like treat people or even your children like shit!! go to hell and burn!! your kids will end up doing it for u when they see what scumbag parents they have!