Faking it and Loving it
by Ann Thrope
Are you getting enough out of your bedroom experience? Is your partner responsive to your needs? If you asked to be smacked or choked, does he apply appropriate pressure and sell the passion? If not, you may need a little help touching up your own act. With our helpful tips you’ll be shouting to the rooftops like your lover has transformed into a daring sex-tiger, even if in reality he’s more like a sex-sloth that leaves you used up, jilted, and wanting more.
Many letters we receive from women say that their problems acting in the bedroom are normally spurred on by things that are sapping their motivation outside the bedroom. Our best advice when it comes to finding your will to scream at will is to take your lemons and turn them into lemonade. If you’re distracted by a messy house, try turning the negative into a positively raucous and filthy show for both of you to enjoy. Lather yourselves with year old mustard, lint, and nail clippings and anything else you can find in your house, then lick it all off.
Other women ask us how to compensate for their husband’s lack of vigor, stamina, or size. If you’re having physical troubles, try bringing toys into the bedroom. Try to suspend your disbelief when that footlong silicone sausage stuffs you like the Thanksgiving turkey. If the vibrator is too much, or it makes you grind your teeth, try using specialty lubricants to spice things up. If you’re on a tight budget, or just a cheap fucker, sugary syrups are a worthy replacement for flavored lube. Fancy “tingle” or “heat” lubricants for her, him, or both can be inexpensively substituted with Icy Hot.
If all natural is more your thing, try helping yourself out while your man does his business. You’ll keep yourself satisfied and keep his self-esteem intact when you can truthfully say you got off. Just don’t mention that it was no thanks to him and you’ll avoid the awkward conversation about how to fix your broken sex life.
Faking it hurts both the man and the woman in the relationship. The man thinks he’s actually doing a good job and will never learn to properly please a woman, and the woman will never get off. The best way to solve troubles in the bedroom is to communicate with your partner and tell them what they need to do and what you like.
Blatantly false. Different situations call for different measures, and sometimes exaggerating or even acting is more than appropriate, its love.
I don’t agree with faking it, I do agree with introducing additional ‘external stimuli’. Also, there are many self help guides and tutorials with are free online, and will help ease the tension of an inadequate sex life. Personally, me and my girlfriend, who I trust explicitly and implicitly, have adopted a policy of absolute honesty in the bedroom, which has helped change me from a bumbling fool into a caring lover who has learned my specific partner’s particular tastes, preferences, fantasies, thresholds, and anatomy. Knowledge is power, and faking it is like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. It may cover it up, but the underlying problem will persist until addressed, or until the casualty expires, the casualty in this case being your sex-life.
Kudos for opening a dialogue on an unpopular subject.
Honesty in the bedroom is only as honest as you are with yourselves. If you’re lying to yourself, you’d be better off faking it, its just so much more fun.
Ha, lie to yourself, lie to you partner, lie, lie, lie.
Cheat, deceive, manipulate, bask in your own hedonistic stench.
Reading your other posts, I wonder how a former human could have reached this level of depravity and vice. This topic in and of itself are innocuous enough, but shooting from the position of having read some of you other articles, I have to say that this is just another in a long line of bad advice which detracts from the humanity of our race. The human race, and now women in particular. You, as an individual, detract from the values that women have fought for, and are nothing more than ammunition for the bigots and chauvinists you should be fighting, instead of feeding. I wish I could post this to your name, but this will have to do, I suppose. Stop feeding the flames of bigotry, and stop degrading yourself.
I was not put on this earth to live up to your expectations, and you were not put on this earth to live up to mine. If you have a problem with how I chose to have sex, then I think you have worse problems than that. What me or your wife think while you’re listlessly pumping away is none of your business. If everyone told nothing but the truth all the time there would be far more hurt feelings and crying.
I honestly feel sorry for your husband.
Your children too, seeing how they arent allowed to play videogames or read much books.
You try to avoid confrontations, and this will eventually come back to slap you in the face. Just talk with your husband, otherwise you will just push him further and further away from you.
And then it could very well happen that he finds another woman that does talk with him and appreciates him, and is not putting him down on the internet.
Don’t let that happen, just talk with him. Not talking is what kills most relationships.
I am actually offended. How dare you judge my relationship with my husband. You’ve drawn so many conclusions, like that I don’t talk with him. I talk to him all the time, just not about sex or the cell phone bill (inside joke). Are you perhaps getting over a relationship where you did what you’re accusing me of yourself, or are you in one?
I appreciate my husband so much that I am willing to stick with him even though he doesn’t always please me in the bedroom. Its the least I can do for him. If I told him the truth we’d be getting a divorce, and neither of us wants that.
Faking it is…okay and not okay. on one hand being dramatic can increase the mood and help with the sex, but on the other hand it doesn’t help. if i was having sex and faking it every single time i would have no joy in it. a woman should be allowed to get off just like her husband. This isn’t the old ages.